Fic: Somewhere In Neverland - Part Two

[chimneythunder]

“Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild,
With a faery, hand in hand.
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.”
- The Stolen Child, William Bulter Yeats.



When Gerard collapsed face-first onto his bed, he’d forgotten about the set of panpipes in his front pocket, and so got a very nasty surprise and very nearly a new naval piercing.

“What the fuck?!”

He pulled them out and gave a groan. It was too much, he just wanted his sleeping pills, he just wanted to not be conscious anymore, he just wanted to –

He just wanted to know what the scrap of paper sticking out one of the pipes was.

Distracted from himself for a second, he pulled the paper out and unrolled it. It was the same piece that he’d found with the pipes in the first place.

For a second, he looked at the scrap of paper and suddenly, he understood what it was.

It was sheet music.

The numbers corresponded to the pipe and the squiggles and dots underneath were a shorthand for the length of the note.

He studied it for a few seconds, trying to work out how it was supposed to sound. Something was clawing at the edges of his memory, a long-forgotten melody. He was humming under his breath as his fingers traced over the fragile paper. It felt soft under his fingertips and delicately thin.

Like a man in a trance, he lifted the pipes to his lips and blew. The notes soared, filling the room as the pipes vibrated against Gerard’s lips sending sensation through his entire body down to his toes. He finished the melody and automatically repeated it once, twice, again and again until he lost count. Something sounded in the notes ringing in his ears, a desperation that was rising up in his chest, warming until his breath felt like it was burning his lungs.

He carried on playing. His fingertips were gripping the pipes so tightly that they started to slip against the sweat forming.

Please he thought as he played, though he didn’t know who he was talking to. Help me. I need you.

He hit the wrong note.

Just as abruptly as it had started, the trance broke. The pipes fell to the floor with a clatter and Gerard jumped, startled by the sound.

The silence was deafening. His own breathing seemed too loud, too harsh, too ragged. The room was spinning slightly. He swallowed, coughed and ran a hand through his hair.

What the fuck was he doing?! Playing panpipes and kids games of make-believe while a child was missing? He shuddered and kicked the pipes away from him. They went skidding across the floor, hitting the wall just beneath the window –

“AHH!!”

There was someone outside his basement window, pressing their face against the glass.

Gerard’s jaw dropped.

“Oh no, no fucking way,” he said, backing up against the wall as the person – boy – tapped the window with one finger. “No fucking way, this isn’t fucking possible!!!”

Apparently, all it took was one glance at the face for all the childhood memories to come rushing back. Gerard immediately recognised him, recognised the hair, the eyes, the nose, the fucking grin... it was all as familiar to him as his own.

Frank – his childhood imaginary friend - tapped at the window with one finger again.

“Oh my God.” Gerard clamped his hands to the side of his head. “Oh my God. I’ve gone insane.”

Frank stared at him quizzically, lips quirked in a curious smile, and tapped the glass a third time.

“I’ve cracked. I knew those new meds were too good to true, I knew it!” Gerard rambled, trying to step further back, solid wall behind him be damned! “Warning, possible side effects may include nausea, mania, insomnia and full-on hallucinations!!”

He rubbed his eyes desperately.

Nope, still there.

“Gerard?” Frank asked. His voice was muffled by the glass. “That you?? Let me in, it’s freezing out here!!”

Gerard blinked. How the fuck did his imaginary friend not recognise him?!

“Of course it’s me! Who else would I be?!”

Frank shrugged. “I dunno... you look different.”

“What?!”

“You look...” Frank paused. “You look taller. And your hair’s longer.”

“Yeah, it’s that thing called growing up,” Gerard muttered faintly, still not sure if he was dreaming or not.

“What? I can’t hear you!” Frank knocked on the window again. “Let me in!!”

“No!”

“Why not?!”

“Because you’re not real!!”

Frank looked slightly hurt.

“What do you mean, I’m not real?”

“I mean you’re not real! You cannot be here!! You – as the figment of my imagination, as my imaginary friend when I was a kid, with emphasis on the word imaginary, meaning not real – you physically cannot be here!!”

Frank laughed. “You still wave your arms about like that when you’re upset!”

Gerard sunk down onto the edge of his bed, trying to do those breathing exercises his therapist had taught him.

“Focus on breathing normally,” he recited. “In and out. Identify the root thought that is causing the anxiety and combat and challenge it.”

“What are you doing?” asked the root thought that was causing the anxiety.

“I’m trying not to have a fucking panic-attack here!!”

“Oh. That doesn’t sound very nice.”

“It’s not!”

“Come on Gerard, breathe,” Frank said in a sudden reassuring voice. “You can’t be that surprised to see me. You called for me!”

Gerard looked up in surprise. “What?!”

“You called for me with the panpipes! Remember? I told you - If you play my song on them, I’ll hear it and -”

“And come straight to you,” Gerard finished. Oh fuck.

“Now you’re getting it!”

This was too messed up. He was clearly having some kind of psychotic episode as a result of stress and guilt.

A shadow passed across the wall.

Gerard looked up. It was the shadow of a boy – but it wasn’t attached to anything.

“What the fuck?!!”

Gerard made a lunge towards the shadow but it took off and he went crashing painfully into the wall, sliding to the floor. He looked up blearily; the shadow was now on the wall, shaking a finger tauntingly at him.

“Motherfucker!!” Gerard groaned, pushing himself up and feeling his neck twinge painfully from where he’d hit the wall.

Frank giggled. “You swear too much! Hey shadow, come help me out here!”

Gerard watched in disbelief as the shadow flew across the ceiling and to the window. There was no way a shadow would be able to open –

The shadow pulled the latch and the window swung open.

“No!” Gerard yelled but it was too late; Frank had already pushed his way in and landed lightly on the carpet. In one leap, he launched himself at Gerard and attacked him in a tackle hug that sent them both crashing onto the bed.

“It is you!!” Frank cried, delighted. He was clinging tightly to Gerard and nuzzling his face against his chest. Gerard was frozen, pinned to the bed by a very solid and very warm imaginary friend. “You even smell the same... although...” Frank paused and sniffed Gerard’s shirt. “Huh. Ripe, like a strawberry. I like it.”

Gerard was really not sure what to say to that. Instead, he asked the first question which popped into his head, which happened to be “Hey, aren’t you supposed to have a fairy with you?”

Frank pulled back, frowning.

“Wow Gerard, your memory must be really messed up,” he said.

From somewhere above them came the sound of delicate bell chimes. Gerard stared up at the ball of light flying around the lightshade, leaving a trail of glitter in the air.

“Oh God, don’t tell me that’s –”

“Yes! That’s Tinkerbell!” Frank said. “See, you do remember!”

The ball of light fluttered down until it was inches from Gerard’s face. Up close, through the glare, he could see a tiny woman with delicate wings fluttering. She folded her arms and stared at Gerard with unmistakable dislike.

“So, you called me!” Frank said, sitting back and casually hovering a foot off the bed. Gerard felt his mouth drop. “Dude, this is awesome. I was wondering if you’d ever remember me and then I heard the pipes play earlier today but it sounded awful so I wasn’t sure if it was you but then you played them properly and I just knew it was you and you were calling me!! Do you still have your old hideout? Hey, is Mikey a bit older now? We could totally bring him along on some adventures too –”

“Woah, wait!” Gerard held up his hand to stop Frank’s rambling. “You heard the pipes play earlier?”

“Yu-huh!” Frank nodded. “The pipes are enchanted as, like, a link or shortcut to Neverland. You play them and it opens a bridge between the worlds!”

“I thought it was the whole ‘second star to the right and straight on till morning’ thing?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Frank said with a giggle. “Not the first star though. That’ll take you somewhere weird. Us Neverfolk, though, we’ve got it built in. We already know the way. Hey!!” Frank suddenly grabbed Gerard’s hand. “You should totally come with us!!”

“What?!”

“Come to Neverland!!” Frank pulled Gerard to his feet while his own never touched the ground. “You always wanted to, so... let’s go!”

“No, wait!” Gerard protested, but Frank had already grabbed Tinkerbell and shook her over him sending down clouds of glitter. He coughed and spluttered, choking as he tried to bat it away.

“Remember, think happy thoughts!!” Frank said and gave Gerard’s hand a huge yank towards the ceiling.

Gerard promptly went flying... towards the floor.

He could hear delicate bells ringing somewhere above him, which was probably Tinkerbell laughing.

“Huh,” Frank said, tilting his head to one side. “I said think happy thoughts!”

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” Gerard said, pushing himself up to his knees and standing up. “I’m not exactly in a ‘happy thoughts’ place right now.”

Frank nearly fell out the air in shock.

“Why not??”

Gerard wasn’t too sure where to begin, so he went with the most immediate Non-Happy.

“This kid I was looking after went missing today. He literally vanished into thin air.” Depressing reality flooded back in. “It’s all my fault.”

“Probably,” Frank agreed.

Tinkerbell suddenly let out a delighted noise, waving her hands in the air. The only noises she made were the sounds of bells but Frank seemed to understand her easily enough.

“This kid,” Frank asked Gerard. “Is he kinda short with black hair?”

“Yes... why?” Gerard asked slowly.

“Ha!” Frank crowed triumphantly as Tinkerbell did a somersault and sprinkling glitter everywhere. “Oh the cleverness of me!! Tink says she heard from the mermaids that they’d seen a new child on the pirate ship today!”

“Keep it down, if Mikey hears you-!” Gerard hissed. “Wait... pirate ship?”

“Yeah, the mermaids were saying Captain Hook had been going on about some new plan to ‘get that blasted Peter Pan once and for all’... He keeps calling me that,” Frank grumbled. “You’d think after 50 times, he’d get the memo.”

“Wait wait, Captain Hook has Pete?!” Gerard interrupted.

Frank shrugged. “Probably. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s tried kidnapping a child to get to me.” He shot a knowing look at Tinkerbell, who rolled her eyes. “Hey Gerard, do you still have that neat hideout in the garden? Can we go play –”

“We have to go to Neverland. Now.”

Frank folded his arms and laughed, floating a few feet away from Gerard. “Well well well, look who’s now all Mr We-have-to-go-NOW! Come on Gee, I haven’t seen you for ages! Let’s play!!”

“I don’t want to fuckin – Uhrg! Fine!!” They were wasting time. “If you take me to Neverland and we get Pete back, I’ll play with you.”

Frank looked doubtful. He floated towards Gerard, hovering off the ground so they were standing eye-to-eye. It was alarming to see how young Frank really looked.

“I give my word,” Gerard said, holding up his little finger. “Pinky swear.”

Frank considered it for a second and then his face split into a brilliant grin.

“Deal!” he said, linking his finger with Gerard’s. “Seriously dude, you still use pinky swear though?”

Gerard pretended not to hear him. “How do I know for certain it’s Pete though?”

“It’s too much of a coincidence,” Frank said casually. “The pipes play and then this kid goes missing?”

A lightbulb went off in Gerard’s head. “Pete had tried to play them earlier!!”

Frank’s eyes were wide with excitement. “That’s probably how Hook found him! Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s go! Gee, think that happy thought!!”

Gerard closed his eyes and focused. He’s alive. He’s OK. He’s in Neverland.

“Why’s it not working?” Frank’s voice broke through his thoughts.

Gerard opened his eyes. Yup, still on the ground.

“Maybe I’m... maybe I’m too big?” he suggested delicately. Behind them, Frank’s shadow nodded in agreement while Frank’s own head remained motionless.

“No way, you can’t be! I mean...” Frank turned to Gerard. “Sure, you’re older but you’re not old. You’re, what, 12? 13?”

Gerard and Tinkerbell stared at him. Meanwhile, Frank’s shadow was waving its arms, desperately trying to catch Gerard’s attention, and nodding furiously.

“Uh, yeah... sure. I’m 13.” Gerard said. Tinkerbell made a noise of disbelief.

“I knew it!” Frank said, clicking his fingers. “Yeah, you’re still good. Adults aren’t allowed in Neverland.”

“Uh huh,” Gerard said as non-committal as possible. He couldn’t even pass for 21 anymore.

“Hmm... you could just be out of practice. Maybe if we went on the roof –”

“I don’t think we have time for that,” Gerard hastily interjected. “I mean... uh... I’m still too worried about Pete to really think happy thoughts.”

“Why?” Frank looked confused. “You know he’s safe –”

“Yeah but – just but!” Gerard sighed. “So there’s no way for me to get to Neverland?”

“Of course not!” Frank laughed. “I’ll just carry you!”

Before Gerard could protest, Frank had grabbed him by the wrists and suddenly, he was flying. OK, so he was still in his bedroom but he was no longer on the floor and he wasn’t falling –

“OK everybody, here we go! Off to Neverland!!” Frank yelled.

“What?! NO!!” Gerard cried. Not this way!! He wasn’t even ready, he didn’t even have shoes on!!

Tinkerbell went soaring ahead through the open window and far too late, Gerard realised that was where he was headed too. There was a blast of cold air and they were in the garden and –

And his bare foot caught on the window ledge.

Gerard screamed as his hands slipped out of Frank’s grip and he landed heavily on the damp grass. He lifted his head, spitting out grass and mud. For one glorious second, he hoped he’d imagined it all, or that Frank had just gone on without him. However, he’d barely had time to catch his breath before a hand seized his left ankle and hoisted him up – and up.

“AHHH!!!”

Frank laughed. “Relax Gee, it’s easier to carry you this way!”

He accelerated towards the sky and they shot up past the house at an alarming rate. The ground fell away at such a rapid speed Gerard felt sick but then before this could process, he realised that they were above the rooftops with the entire street below them.

“Frank, are you sure this is the easiest way?!” Gerard yelled. His hands flailed wildly beneath him.

“Lighten up Gee! What happened to your sense of adventure?”

“I think I left it on the ground...”

He heard tiny bells ringing as a ball of glitter and light whizzed around his head; Tinkerbell was definitely laughing at him, the fucker!

Gerard had been trying to push his hair off his face but the wind kept blowing back in his eyes and mouth. He quickly realised this was a mistake anyway when he saw through a momentary gap in his hair just how far up in the air Frank had flown and they were still going higher.

“Oh my God, oh my God, I’m going to die.” They were so high that Gerard couldn’t even make out the individual cars on the road anymore, only the headlights as rivers of light. “Oh fuck me, this is high!”

“You wanna go higher?! Awesome!!”

Gerard’s scream trailed behind them like a curse, drowned out by the wind roaring past his ears and then –

And then, in his pocket, his phone vibrated.

“What the fuck?”

He twisted to look up at his feet (and woah, there was a weird and worrying thought... looking up at his feet). Frank was soaring above him, one hand tightly gripping Gerard’s ankle.

“Woah Gee, your entire leg just vibrated there!”

Gerard looked at his pocket. Who the hell would be calling him at this time?!

Trying to navigate his phone out his pocket at 20,000 feet without dropping it was one of the more terrifying experiences that Gerard would have been happy to never repeat. He nearly lost his Lucky Lighter when he was getting his phone out and in the process to save it, accidentally dislodged a few loose coins and sent them plummeting down out of sight.

“Sorry!” he called down. He hoped they didn’t land on anyone.

Holding his phone tightly in his hand, he checked his screen. Two missed calls, one new message, all from Mikey.

“just saw u being kidnapped by peter pan. what should i tell mom?”

Gerard considered his wording carefully before typing it out.

“apparently Pete is in neverland. dont ask :/ tell mom ive heard from Bert and gone to talk to him.”

Mikey’s reply came almost instantly.

“right. u no shes going to freak out WAY more from that than the truth? watch out for captain hook. when in doubt clap ur hands and say u believe in fairies.”

Gerard wasn’t sure if Mikey was mocking him or not when two messages buzzed through, one right after the other.

“btw this is totally a normal conversation to have in all seriousness.”

“bring him back home g. BE CAREFUL.”


~*~*~


They’d been flying for about 40 minutes by Gerard’s watch (which was starting to get ice crystals forming under the glass) and he was starting to suspect that this may not have been a good idea.

“Frank?” he called up.

“What?”

“How long does it take to get there?”

Frank laughed. “Come on Gee, you know this one! Second star to the right and –”

“Straight on till morning,” Gerard finished, horror-struck. Morning was still a good few hours away and Gerard’s hands had already gone numb from the cold. “Isn’t there a short-cut or something??”

Frank laughed again. Gerard assumed that was a no.

He couldn’t see the ground anymore. Frank had pulled them above the clouds, soaking Gerard in the process - hey, who knew? Clouds were made of fucking water! His clothes had dried off slightly but the wind was cold and he still felt damp all over.

“I am so getting ill from this,” he muttered, pulling his hoodie sleeves over his hands in a futile attempt to warm them up and tried to remember what the warning signs for hypothermia were.

Kids didn’t worry about things like pneumonia, Gerard abruptly realised. Kids didn’t worry about things like the long-term effects of being stuck in damp, cold clothes for too long. Most kids had never spent an entire winter in an apartment with no heating because they’d had to choose between paying the bills or booze.

What the fuck was he doing, going to Neverland?!

Oh, Pete. Right. Rescue mission. He wondered if it might have been easier to just ask Frank to bring the kid back for him.

Goddammit, Pete better be grateful for the rescue...

He closed his eyes and tried to pass the time. Frank didn’t seem to be in a very chatty mood any more. Gerard had long ago gotten used to the gentle swaying in the wind. It was soothing. Comforting. He wasn’t even feeling that cold any more either.

He focused on his thoughts. He let his mind wander...

He hoped they didn’t meet any airplanes.

“Gerard!! Wake up!!”

Tinkerbell flicked his nose. Gerard snorted with surprise.

“Wha -?” he asked, disorientated. Upside down, flying – what?!

“When did the sun come up?!” he asked dumbly.

It felt like he’d only just closed his eyes but the dark starry night had been replaced by a beautiful pink and orange dawn sky.

“You were snoring,” Frank said, giving him a shake. “We’re nearly there!”

In an attempt to ‘help’ wake Gerard up, Frank briefly let go of his ankle and let him fall a few feet before catching him. The adrenaline rush certainly worked better than any espresso but the accompany heart attack and hysterical laughter from Frank was something Gerard could have done without.

A little more awake, he stretched and yawned, looking up – uh, down. Right. Still upside down. They’d descended below the clouds and were now flying over the sea with New Jersey, home and land long gone behind them. The light reflected off the surface, sparkling and reflecting a thousand colours that hinted at something magical underneath and Gerard was momentarily hypnotised by it, staring deeply into the water and trying to make out what he could see. On the horizon, there was the brilliant ball of light of the sun, balancing where the sea met the sky. He squinted, staring into it and shielding his eyes with his hand. There was something in the centre of it, something solid. The more Gerard focused on, the more its shape was defined.

He blinked and suddenly, he could see it.

“Gee, look! There it is!” Frank called. “It’s Neverland!”

He hovered for a second and then abruptly let go of Gerard’s leg again, dropping him unceremoniously onto... a cloud?!

Gerard looked at the fluffy surface between his splayed fingers. Yup. Definitely a cloud, and yet as solid as a ledge.

“Gee, look!!” Frank said impatiently, pointing over the edge of the cloud. Hesitantly, Gerard peered over.

“Holy shit!!”

His first thought was extreme vertigo – fuck, they were high up. However, he then forced himself to look past the distance and at the island and there was no mistaking it.

It was Neverland.

It was like something straight out a child’s story book. An irregular shape of an island with various coves, forestry and a mountain rising up out middle. Everything seemed to sparkle in the morning light and as they got closer, Gerard could even make out some of the finer details. He could see a small pillar of smoke rising up from a campfire in an Indian settlement on the edge of one of the cliffs. In a cove, mermaids jumped in and out of the sea, lounging on rocks and flipping their hair. And on the farside of the island, peering just over the tops of the trees, there were the topmost tips of a pirate ship with a Jolly Rodger fluttering in the wind.

“Frank!!” Gerard said excitedly, gripping the edges of the cloud. “There’s the pirate ship!!”

“I know!” Frank replied. He grinned at Gerard. “So, wanna go get Pete back?”

Gerard nodded eagerly. “What’s the plan?”

“Plan?” Frank asked. “I never need a plan. I make things up as I go along!”

Before Gerard could point out that this wasn’t necessarily the best way to go about things, Frank had grabbed Gerard by his ankle again and took off, diving off the cloud in a dangerous nosedive that made Gerard’s ears pop as they plummeted. Gerard’s reply was lost in his scream.

“Shh, they’ll hear you!” Frank said – and then let go, dropping Gerard a few feet into the crows nest at the top of the ship’s mast.

“Wait!” Gerard said, scrambling to his feet but Frank had already flown off, leaving Gerard stranded.

Well... fuck.

A quick peek over the edge of the wooden railing showed that the deck below was completely deserted. If Gerard was quick, he might be able to climb down and look for Pete before the pirates got back from... wherever they were. With shaking legs, he clambered over the edge of the mast and started climbing down the rigging.

The deck was still completely deserted when Gerard finally touched down. Frank was also nowhere to be seen.

Gerard cleared his throat nervously.

“Pete?” he called out, wincing. His voice sounded too loud. He tried again, a bit quieter. “Pete?”

And then chaos erupted. In the blink of an eye, there were suddenly pirates everywhere, roaring, yelling, brandishing swords and – what the fuck, one of them threw a heavy net over Gerard’s head, making his knees buckle under the weight of it. He hit the desk face-first, all the air rushing out his chest.

“Fetch the captain!!” one of the pirates yelled. “We’ve got a stowaway!”

Rough hands were grabbing Gerard by the shoulders and hoisting him to his feet. He was still too winded to fight back and instead, dazed, he peered up through the gaps in the net. He was completely surrounded by pirates.

“Get the captain!!” someone yelled and it suddenly hit Gerard who they meant – Captain Hook.

“Oh fuck!” Gerard hissed. He started squirming, trying to free himself from the net, and promptly received a heavy slap to the back of his head from the pirate restraining him.

Forget pirate, Gerard thought, looking up – and up - at the guy. This guy could give the Incredible Hulk a run for his money in terms of size.

“Less of that, lad,” Pirate Hulk growled in Gerard’s ear. His breath stank of rum and halitosis, and he gave Gerard’s arm a painful squeeze. “No fun making you walk the plank with a sword through your chest.”

Gerard gulped. Where the fuck was Frank!?

An awed hush had fallen over the pirates, which Gerard knew could only mean one thing; the Captain had arrived.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

He looked up in the skies but there was still no sign of Frank. He was going to have to do this alone. Gerard took a deep breath. Well, he’d gotten himself into this mess, he could get himself out of it. Mentally, he started running through all the things he could say, preparing his arguments to get Pete back. After all, Hook was a grown man. They could surely talk this one out like reasonable adults. (Gerard chose to ignore the fact that he himself had never been particularly reasonable.)

The crowd of pirates parted, revealing Captain Hook, and that entire train of thought just went completely flying overboard. Gerard’s jaw dropped and all words he’d planned dried and died on his tongue. A strange ringing filled his ears and thoughts in his head skipped round and round on repeat like a broken record.

No. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. No. It wasn’t possible.

There was no way this could be happening. It had to be a weird coincidence, just a little oddness in the universe that meant Captain Hook was completely doppelganger of Gerard’s ex, Bert.

“What do we have here?” Captain Hook shouted, and oh fuck, this really was happening. It even sounded like him...

“A stowaway, Captain!” replied Pirate Hulk. He’d bellowed in Gerard’s ear but Gerard didn’t even notice. Gerard would have recognised Bert anywhere. This wasn’t a strange look-a-like. This was the real deal.

His ex-boyfriend was Captain Hook.

How the fuck had this even happened?!

“A stowaway, you say?” Captain Hook looked at Gerard, taking a step towards him (Gerard couldn’t think of him as Bert. It was too fucked). “How did you get aboard my ship, lad?”

Gerard couldn’t form words. He could only stutter and stammer out random letters.

“Are you a mute?!” Captain Hook demanded. “Speak up!”

And then, someone shouted his name.

“Gerard!!”

One of the pirates behind Hook came forward, a small child struggling to get out of his grip.

“Pete!” Gerard yelled. He forgot he was being restrained by a dude 150 pounds heavier than him and got another heavy slap around the head when he tried to run to Pete, this time so hard he actually saw stars. “Let him go!! He’s mine!”

Hook held up his hand and suddenly, Pirate Hulk let Gerard go. Quickly, Gerard pulled the net off, messing his hair up even worse than the overnight flying trip had done.

“That kid’s mine,” Gerard said again, pointing at Pete who’s eyes were wide and frightened. “I was looking after him when you kidnapped him. I’m here to get him back.”

He addressed all this to the pirate holding Pete instead of Captain Hook. He could do this if he didn’t actually look at Bert...

“Smee, who is this person??” Captain Hook asked, addressing the pirate holding Pete.

“I don’t – wait a minute, Captain!” Smee yelled gleefully. “I recognise him, I know who this is – it’s Gerard-bloomin’-Way!!”

There was a collective gasp from all the pirates. Captain Hook took another step towards Gerard and – and oh God, there he was, suddenly in entirely up in Gerard’s personal space, his face barely inches away from Gerard’s own. Gerard couldn’t not look at him now and fuck, it really was Bert.

He couldn’t stop the onslaught of memories he’d tried so hard to forget. Every touch, every glance, every kiss... Unconsciously, Gerard found himself leaning towards Bert just to be closer, just to feel his warmth, just to check he was solid, was real...

“Are you really Gerard Way?” Bert asked in that low tone Gerard had always found so irresistible. Gerard could only nod mutely, his eyes flickering from Bert’s eyes to his lips. The world around them, the pirates, Pete – none of it existed anymore. Gerard’s body was practically shaking with want, craving even just the slightest touch. He could feel Bert’s hot breath on his lips and could almost taste the rum within it.

“Depends,” Gerard murmured. “Who’s asking?”

“I am,” Bert said in the same voice. Gerard’s eyes fluttered open and closed against his will.

“And who are you?” Gerard asked.

Something cold and sharp pressed into Gerard’s cheek, bringing him back to painful reality.

“I am Captain Hook,” came the reply. “Now. Enough games boy. Are you or are you not Gerard Way?”

Gerard couldn’t talk. He could only nod. His entire brain felt like it had shorted out. The hard drive had crashed. Blue screen of death. The worst drug trip of all time. He couldn’t find any words to explain himself; he wasn’t even sure if his mouth was working. He could only stare at the same lines on Bert’s forehead, the same dry lips, the same strands of greasy dark hair hanging down from under the extravagant wig he was wearing. He even smelt the same; of sweat, smoke and alcohol.

“I was pretending to be Gerard when someone grabbed me, flew off and then dumped me here!!” Pete suddenly yelled, stamping on Smee’s feet (much to Smee’s credit, he winced in pain but didn’t let the boy go). “Let me go! Take him instead!!”

If Gerard had been in a clearer state of mind, he would have been pissed at how quickly that brat tried to sell him out. Instead though, he was more distracted by the fact Captain Hook was laughing. The other pirates seemed to take their cue from this and also all erupted in loud laughter.

“Oh surely, not!!” Hook said, wiping away tears of merriment. “You see, my dear lad, it doesn’t matter to me who I’ve got as hostage – just as long as Peter Pan comes to the rescue!”

Gerard looked up in alarm, finally meeting Captain Hook’s cold eyes – and oh fuck, they were totally still the same. The exact same look Bert got whenever he was about to do something really shitty.

“You can’t!!” Gerard managed to squeak as Pete yelled “Peter Pan wouldn’t fall for such an obvious trap.”

As if he’d been waiting for such a moment, there was suddenly a loud crow from the sails. Everyone looked up to see Frank floating in the air next to the Jolly Roger flag.

“Alright Hook, you wanted me and now I’m here!” he called. There was no mistaking the excitement in his voice. He gracefully flew down so that he was hovering just out of Hook’s reach above them. He reached down and gave Gerard’s hair a tug in what was probably meant to be a reassuring gesture. “Let Gerard and Pete go and I’ll go easy on you!”

“Oh really?” Captain Hook asked. “And tell me, my dear boy, how do you expect to do that if you’re already dead?? Smee!! NOW!!”

A weighted net, similar to the one that had been thrown of Gerard, was suddenly thrown down from the Crow’s nest.

“Look out!!” Gerard yelled but it was too late – the net had fallen over Frank, bringing him crashing down on top of Gerard, trapping them both.

Captain Hook gave a triumphant scream. “I did it! I caught him!! Quick, Smee, seize the boy!!”

Gerard and Frank had been struggling unsuccessfully against the netting when Pirate Hulk was back, pulling them up and to their feet. Frank’s body was pressed uncomfortably close to Gerard’s. Yup. Definitely real. Not a dream.

“What will we do with them, Captain?” Smee asked, practically skipping with delight. “Make ‘em walk the plank?”

“Of course not!” Captain Hook roared. “He’s escaped far too many times that way! No, this way is the only way to be certain...”

And he drew his sword.

Gerard felt his blood run cold. He was going to die.

“Let Gerard go, he’s done nothing wrong!!” Frank yelled, struggling against the netting.

“What, and let him go running to your precious Lost Boys and rallying the troupes? I think not!” Captain Hook sniffed. “Any last words?”

Gerard stared at the tip of the sword. The light shone off the sharpened point, blinding and deadly. He was such a fuck-up. He ruined his own life single-handedly and now he was about to get killed by his ex-boyfriend who also happened to be a fictional character.

“You can’t do this, it’s not fair!!” Frank cried, struggling to tear the net with his bare hands.

“Wait!” Pete yelled suddenly. “He’s right! You can’t do this!!”

Captain Hook turned around slowly to stare at the child. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s like Peter Pan said; it’s not fair. It’s not really very fun either,” Pete said quickly. Gerard stared at him in disbelief; his life was currently in the hands of an eight year old. “You don’t really want to get rid of Peter Pan that easily –”

“Of course I do!” Hook roared.

“No you don’t!” Pete said with a triumphant grin. “I know the stories! Think about it, Captain Hook, this wouldn’t be the most exciting one, would it? ‘Hook defeats Peter Pan when Pan is outnumbered and overpowered.’ Not exactly what the stuff of legends is made of.”

Hook opened his mouth to argue but then paused. “Go on,” he said.

“Well, what would be more fitting would be an epic battle, don’t you think?”

“Pete!!” Gerard hissed. “What are you doing?!?”

But Hook suddenly burst out laughing. “Splendid idea, good form indeed!! Oh yes, I like this plan indeed!!” He spun around to face Gerard and Frank. “Here is the deal; I shall set you free now but in three days, we will have our war. The winner shall get to decide on the fate of the boy here.”

Gerard opened his mouth to protest but Frank had already laughed. “Done!!”

He stuck his hand through a hole in the netting, holding it out to Captain Hook, who regarded it for a second and then shook it with his remaining hand.

“And Gerard Way has to fight me in this war at some point,” Captain Hook suddenly said, gripping Frank’s hand so tightly that Frank let out a cry of pain. “Or else I automatically win.”

What happened next was that one of the pirates pulled the netting off their heads, and Frank immediately grabbed Gerard and shot off towards the sky, leaving the pirate deck – and Pete – far below them. Perhaps it was just one dramatic occurrence too many for Gerard to take, or perhaps the shock of discovering who Captain Hook really was was finally wearing off, or perhaps it was just the sensation of flying. Whatever it was, it was finally too much for Gerard and as Frank continued to fly with his arms wrapped securely around Gerard’s torso and with Neverland rushing beneath their feet, Gerard felt himself pass out.


~*~*~


It’s a wonderful gift to wake up after a traumatic experience and immediately believe you’re in your own bed. Even if it’s just a fleeting sensation, there is that brief moment of security and comfort, that all you’d been through had been just a dream.

Gerard was not afforded such luxuries. All his senses seemed to come to at once.

Hearing; A jungle. Children’s laughter. The faintest sound of bells.
Smelling; Dirt. Sea air.
Feeling; Soft grass beneath him. Warm sun above him.
Tasting; ... well, his own morning breath.

He opened his eyes.

Seeing; the bright blue sky of Neverland above him, framed by a forest canopy.

“Oh no,” he groaned, dropping his arm over his eyes to try and block out the sunlight. “I’m still here.”

He sat up slowly and cricked his neck.

“Definitely not a dream, then... Fuck.”

“You swear a lot!”

Gerard jumped.

“You know, the whole ‘randomly appearing out of nowhere gets really old...” He glared up at Frank, who was standing on one of the highest tree branches. Without warning, he dove headfirst off the branch, pulling up inches from the ground and landing gracefully on his feet.

“Come on Gee, be happy!” Frank said, jumping towards Gerard and flying around him in a circle. “We’ve got a whole three days of playing ahead of us!”

The very thought filled Gerard with dread.

“Look Frank, I need to talk to you about Hook,” he began to say but Frank cut him off with an excited crow.

“Ooo, I’ve got it!! Stay here, Gee, I’ve got something to show you!!”

And without another word, he shot up into the sky and disappeared over the edges of the trees with a trail of glitter following behind him.

Gerard stared up at the sky for a few seconds, trying to work out what the hell was going on in his life right now. He needed some form of sanity... God help him, he needed another adult to talk to.

Mikey.

He reached for his phone in his pocket so quickly that he nearly lost his balance. Pulling it out with slightly shaking hands, he pressed Mikey’s number on speed dial, holding it to his ear and listening to the crackling silence... He wasn’t even sure if he could technically get signal in a place that didn’t exist...

“Gerard? Is that you?”

Mikey’s typically flat voice filled his ear.

“Gee? Can you hear me? Hello?”

Gerard cleared his throat. “Mikey?”

Mikey let out a huge sigh of relief. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah, I’m OK... I think.” It was amazing how much he felt himself relaxing just from hearing his little brother’s voice. It was comforting, familiar and safe.

“OK. So... where are you?”

“Um.” Gerard scratched his head and looked at the surrounding jungle. “Uh... Neverland?”

Mikey let out another loud exhale. “You know, if I hadn’t seen you carted off, I’d think you were on something – oh shit, sorry.”

“Yeah yeah, I know.” Gerard winced but he could see his brother’s point. “I’m still not entirely sure myself that I’m not dreaming this entire thing or having a bad reaction to my meds.”

He pinched his arm just in case. Ow. Nope. Definitely real.

“So, did you find Pete?”

“Yeah, I did,” Gerard said, rubbing his face. “Captain Hook’s got him, and also –”

He stopped, unsure how to put the next part into words.

“Gerard? What’s happened? Is he OK?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. Usual little shithead, he tried to get Captain Hook to take me instead.”

“Well good to know he’s not too traumatised by things...”

“Yeah...”

“Gerard? What is?”

Mikey knew him well enough to know when Gerard wasn’t telling him everything.

“It’s – it’s Captain Hook,” Gerard said, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. “He’s – he’s Bert.”

There was a very long silence, even by Mikey Way standards. Gerard started counting in his head. One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi...

“Bert as in –”

“My ex boyfriend, yeah.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

There was another pause.

“Your ex-boyfriend is Captain Hook?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah.”

“... Really??”

“Yes!!” Gerard exploded. He jumped to his feet, pacing around the clearing with his free arm flailing as he spoke (well. Yelled). “Out of everything that’s happened today, why is that the part you’re finding so hard to – what the fuck, Mikey, are you laughing at me?!”

“No,” Mikey said. He was definitely smirking though, which in Mikey Way speak was the equivalent of hysterical laughter.

Gerard hated his little brother. He was incredibly unhelpful.

“Are you sure it’s him?” Mikey asked. “I mean, OK, so I only met the guy once years ago but he didn’t seem very... pirate-y.”

“Well, the speech is all wrong but the general assholery is spot on Bert,” Gerard said grimly. Now that he wasn’t around Bert and didn’t have to face him in person, it was a lot easier to accept the horrible truth.

“OK...”

“Mikey, I’m serious!! It really is him!”

“I believe you, Gee, it’s just... You lived with the guy. How did you not know he was Captain Hook?”

“Did you??” Gerard screamed.

“Well the hook for the hand could have been a clue...”

“Fuck you!! He had two hands, he –” Gerard trailed off in horror as he suddenly realised. “Oh my God.”

“What?!”

“He had a prosthetic arm.” Mikey didn’t say anything but Gerard couldn’t stop himself from speaking. “Bert. He... Oh my God. He said he lost his arm in a motorcycle accident years ago. He used to stash drugs in the prosthetic one...”

There was a silence. Gerard could hear Mikey breathing on the other end of the line.

“Huh,” he eventually said. “So... to sum it up, you’ve basically been sleeping with one of children’s literature’s most hated villains.”

Gerard sunk down onto his knees heavily.

“Apparently.”

“Wow. You’re screwed.”

“I know.” Gerard said through gritted teeth. “This is so fucking weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Mikey agreed. “So, how did you end up in Neverland anyway?”

“I flew.”

“I know that - I saw that. What I meant was, how did you even end up all messed up in this anyway?”

“Well... uh... it turns out my old imaginary friend is actually Peter Pan.” Idly, he stuck his free hand into his pocket, feeling his Lucky Lighter still there, and his fingers closed around it.

“Really?”

“Really. Except he doesn’t actually like being called that. He’s actually called Frank.”

Even saying it out loud sounded stupid.

“Right,” Mikey said. “Of course.”

“I know.”

There was another awkward pause.

“So... how’s Mom taken the news that I’m gone?” he asked delicately. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it or not.

“She’s still at Dale’s.” Relief rushed through Gerard. “I felt that with everything going on, the last thing she needs is to find out her eldest son’s gone AWOL to Neverland with the fairies.”

“I told you to tell her I was at Bert’s!”

“Technically, you are.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

There was another silence. Gerard listened to Mikey’s breathing. When he was going through the worst parts of getting clean, he used to curl up next to Mikey at night and focus on his breathing, on his brother’s heartbeat, on how his chest rose and fell with every breath. It helped, to remember that such calmness did exist but also to draw his attention onto something else alive so he didn’t have remember his own struggles with the state.

“Wait a second,” Mikey said, disturbing the silence. “Don’t you have to be a... well, a kid to go to Neverland?”

“Yup.”

“Gee, I know you still act like a teenager but I don’t think even you could pass for –”

“According to Frank, I do.”

“So Frank lied about your age?”

“Not exactly...”

Mikey gasped. “Gerard, did you lie about your age?”

“Well, Frank kinda... got it wrong and I... didn’t correct him.”

“Gerard!”

“What?! I’m getting Pete back, and that’s the main thing!”

“Yeah but dude.”

Gerard wanted to protest his innocence but he knew it was a lost cause. People got so hung on ages sometimes, and it wasn’t like he was doing anything creepy, for fucks sake, he was just trying to save Pete! He was about to ask Mikey if he could do some research on Captain Hook for him (you know, like if there was ever anything in the original book that suggested he was a drug addict from Chicago) when there was the sound of rustling, announcing someone approaching from behind him.

“Shit, someone’s coming, gotta go, bye!” Gerard said hastily and hung up.

He was not looking forward to the bill.

“Hello?” he called out. “Frankie?”

“Gee!” Frank burst out from the overgrown jungle with a huge grin on his face... and with Tinkerbell and four kids following him.

Oh God. Those couldn’t be -

“Gerard,” Frank said proudly, “These are the Lost Boys!”

Gerard stared at the four kids in confusion. Either two of them were into crossdressing (which was fine, you know. Gerard had no problem with gender issues or anything; hey, he’d dressed in drag at art school and he was still quite partial to boys in eyeliner) or...

“Boys?” he asked.

“Yeah, well,” Frank shrugged. “’Lost Boys and Girls’ was a bit of a mouthful. Anyway, Lost Boys, this is Gerard. Gerard, this the Lost Boys; Jimmy, Steve, Kitty and Lyn-Z... and where’s Ray?”

“I’m here!” came a cry and then, stumbling out a bush and tripping over a stray root came a small child sporting an impressive afro. Gerard stared at him in confusion. There was something oddly familiar about the kid.

“Awesome!” Frank said. “Anyway. Lost Boys – this is Gerard!”

“Hi Gerard,” the Lost Boys all said in a sing-song way. None of them could have been much older than eight, although the tall, lanky one called Jimmy could have maybe passed for nine at a push.

“Why’s he so big?” Kitty asked, glaring at Gerard. She’d painted a black stripe over her eyes, which were narrowed aggressively.

“And fat!” Steve added. Gerard felt this was a bit unfair, considering Steve wasn’t exactly a pixie himself.

“Gee’s one of my oldest friends, we used to play together all the time!” Frank said, ignoring the comments. “Captain Hook’s kidnapped his friend so we’ve got to get him back.”

“An adventure?” The other girl called Lyn-Z’s excitedly jumped onto a nearby tree stump and pulled a wooden sword out from the waistband of her kilt (which Gerard belatedly realised was probably the remains of her school uniform). “Peter Pan, lead us to the pirate ship and we’ll release the prisoner!”

“It’s not that simple,” Gerard said. “Hook’s got all kinds of weapons and all these dangerous pirates; you’re just kids!”

The Lost Boys all looked insulted.

“We’ve fought the pirates before and we’ll fight ‘em again!” Frank flew through the air in a circle around the group. “It’ll be awesome!”

“Yeah, remember the time they tried to kidnap Tigerliy?” Ray said. “We smashed the pirates and the crocodile chased Hook all the way back to the ship!”

Everyone in the group except for Gerard laughed at the memory.

“But then Hook killed the crocodile,” Ray finished, looking a little depressed.

“Never mind that!” Jimmy said. “Remember the time he tried to hunt us down when we were on an cowboy hunt? Frank tricked the pirates into heading straight into Mermaid Lagoon!”

“What’s in the Mermaid Lagoon?” Gerard asked.

“Mermaids. Duh,” Lyn-Z said.

Right. Of course.

“So anyway, Lost Boys, listen up!” Frank said. “Hook said we’ve got three days to get ourselves sorted for the battle.”

The Lost Boys all cheered at this.

“We’ll stab ‘em!” Lyn-Z yelled, brandishing her sword.

“We’ll smash ‘em!” Steve punched Gerard’s arm. (Ow.)

“We’ll kick ‘em!” Kitty demonstrated with a high kick, narrowly missing Gerard’s face.

“We’ll grab ‘em!” Jimmy said, and then grabbed Gerard’s crotch.

“Hey!” Gerard jumped back, swatting Jimmy’s hand away as Tinkerbell nearly fell out the sky from laughing so hard.

“There’s one small issue though,” Frank said. “Part of the deal is that Gerard has to fight Captain Hook at some point.”

It was like Christmas had been cancelled.

“He’s screwed,” Kitty said bluntly. The other Lost Boys and Gerard nodded.

“Do you even know how to fight?” Jimmy asked, poking Gerard’s soft stomach. (Gerard flinched as Jimmy reached for him, wary of another entirely inappropriate bad-touch). “You look like you’ve never even slapped someone.”

“Of course he does!” Frank said before Gerard could protest. “We used to talk about fighting Captain Hook all the time! Now’s your chance! You’ve fought before, right?”

“Yeah, technically, I guess...” Gerard trailed off, thinking about all the times he’d had the crap kicked out of him at school. He hadn’t exactly won any of those fights but then there was also the more recent time some douchebag had jumped him a club for being a fag and the fight had been pretty evenly matched (in Gerard’s opinion anyway) until Bert upped the odds in their favour and stepped in with a switch-blade.

“I can’t –” Gerard said abruptly. “I can’t fight him. Bert, I mean, Captain Hook.”

“What? Yeah sure you can!” Frank said. “Look, I know he’s kinda scary but it’s all show! It’s easy!”

“No, I can’t!! He doesn’t even fight fair!”

Even to Gerard, it sounded lame. Kitty whispered something to Steve, causing him to start sniggering.

“Look, we’ll train you!” Frank said with a reassuring smile. “It’ll just be like old times!”


~*~*~


“But you know that if you cross your fingers and if you count from one to ten, you can get up off the ground again. It doesn’t matter, the whole thing’s just a game.”
- Kids Game, Blood Brothers.


It wasn’t just like old times.

Lyn-Z had attempted to teach Gerard the basics of sword fighting. Ignoring the fact that his tutor was only four foot tall, Gerard still sucked.

Initially, he had been hesitant to fight with her properly – for all her attitude, Gerard couldn’t get past the fact that she was probably only about six or seven years old, and the pigtails and (admittedly destroyed) school uniform didn’t help. Gerard might have been many things but he was not the kind of person to willingly inflict pain on a little girl, a fact that Lyn-Z immediately took full advantage of and smashed her wooden sword into his kneecaps.

“Fight her back, you pansy!” Frank had cheered from the sidelines. Kitty, Jimmy, Steve, Ray and the ball of glitter and light that was Tinkerbell were also watching. They were also helpfully offering their own advice which mostly consisted of variants of “booo!” and “you suck!”

“This is stupid!! Captain Hook’s short but he’s not this height!” Gerard protested, jumping back as Lyn-Z made another swing for his knees. “How is this supposed to help me?!”

Steve said, “if you can’t even beat a girl...”

“What?!” Gerard spluttered. “That’s completely sexist and totally not true! Girls can fight just as well as boys –”

Lyn-Z whacked him around the back of the knees and his legs crumpled under him.

“You’re like, way taller than her!” Ray said helpfully. “Maybe that might work!”

Round two came around and Gerard took Ray’s advice, resorting to holding Lyn-Z back at arm’s length by her forehead while she thrashed uselessly at him in the same way that Mikey used to when they were kids.

“Yay Gee!!” Frank cheered as Ray clapped enthusiastically while the other Lost Boys and Tinkerbell booed. “See, you can win!”

“I can’t do this in the middle of a fucking battle – AHH!!”

Lyn-Z had stabbed him in the arm with her wooden sword. It hadn’t done any real damage but it had still fucking hurt.

The rest of the day was about as useful. Frank unsuccessfully tried to get Gerard to fly by applying copious amounts of fairy dust and then shoving him off small ledges; Kitty applied camouflage paint to Gerard’s face that made him look more like an Army-themed drag queen; Steve just outright stated “I don’t like you” to Gerard’s face; Ray tried to show Gerard his favourite places to hide in around the jungle (none of which Gerard could fit in due to being adult-sized) and all of Jimmy’s versions of “attacking” seemed to involve whipping his penis out and pissing on things.

All of this was intercepted with constant “helpful” surprise attacks from Tinkerbell, who would sneak up to Gerard and scream in his ear. For someone so tiny, she had one hell of a pair of lungs on her that could reach the most incredibly shrill notes.

To sum up Gerard’s first day in Neverland, he spent it getting his ass kicked repeatedly by small children while his childhood imaginary friend looked on in amusement. It was not one his high points.

By the time dinner rolled around, Gerard was starving and sore in places he didn’t even know he had.

“Lost Boys, food time!” Frank yelled. The Lost Boys all cheered and ran off into the depths of the forest, leaving Gerard and Frank alone in the clearing. Gerard looked up weakly from the mud puddle he was lying face-down in.

“There is actual food available, isn’t there?” he asked. He’d seen Hook when he was a kid.

“Of course!” Frank grinned. He held out a hand to Gerard and pulled him to his feet. “Steve’s the best cook you’ll find on Neverland!”

“Huh,” Gerard said. Frank hadn’t let go of Gerard’s hand and was now leading him through the forest, flying by Gerard’s side. His hand was warm and he had a surprisingly firm grip. Gerard looked at his own hand, all bitten-down nails and ink-splattered, seeming ridiculously huge in comparison to Frank’s.

“Frank?” Gerard cleared his throat nervously.

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you let grown ups in Neverland?”

Frank paused in mid-air, still holding Gerard’s hand. “They’re boring, Gee! Grown ups tell you when to go to bed, when to get a job, brush your teeth and that kind of stuff. They don’t play or have any imagination at all! Who wants that?!”

“Yeah... I guess that sucks,” Gerard muttered. Frank started up leading again, gently pulling Gerard through the trees.

“So, why did you wait for so long to call me?” Frank asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

“I – I don’t know,” Gerard said truthfully. “I guess... well, stuff happened.”

He couldn’t even remember why he’d buried the box with the panpipes in.

“I went to your window once but you weren’t in there... and then every time I came back, your window was shut.” Frank sounded genuinely sad at this. “I thought maybe you were mad at me...”

“Really? I don’t remember that.”

“So you weren’t mad at me?” Frank asked, turning around to face Gerard with a hopeful expression on his face.

“Of course not!” Gerard said. Frank’s face broke into a giant grin.

“Really??”

“Yeah, really!” Gerard said earnestly, and suddenly he realised he meant it. He wanted to mean it, he wanted it to be true because that smile on Frank’s face was one of the most incredible things Gerard had ever seen. It was like a shot of pure, unadulterated joy that made everything in the world seem so much better. “I – Like I said. Stuff happened. My... my memory is kinda fucked.”

Frank giggled. “You really swear a lot now... I like it. But what’s wrong with your memory?”

Gerard couldn’t tell him the truth. He couldn’t tell him it was a mixture of hardcore drug abuse and deliberate suppression. How could you explain to someone like Frank that you had to force yourself to forget the worst things you’d been though because you’d never be able to move on with your life unless you did?

He was so wrapped up in trying to find a way to explain himself that he didn’t notice his foot get caught on a tree root until he’d tripped and Frank had to quickly catch him.

“Woah, easy there, Gee!” Frank said, holding tightly to Gerard’s arms.

“How the fuck are you so strong?!” Gerard asked in disbelief, staring at Frank’s bare feet. His own arms on default had wrapped around Frank’s waist but the kid was still in the air.

Frank let out a growling chuckle that was completely unlike the childish, gleeful shouts and whoops he’d been making all day.

“Oh, what strong arms you have, Grandmother,” he said in a low voice.

Gerard’s head shot up from looking at Frank’s dirty feet and suddenly found himself inches from hazel eyes with a mischievous gleam in them.

“I – what?” Gerard said with all the eloquence in the world.

“Frank!!!” yelled one of the Lost Boys, sounding not too far away. “Where are you?”

Frank abruptly released his hold on Gerard, letting him crash to the floor.

“We’re coming!” Frank yelled. “Come on Gee, we’re almost there!!”

And without another word, he flew off through a bush, scattering leaves everywhere. Gerard pushed himself up slowly, trying not to think about what the fuck had just happened.

“Hey! Frank! Wait up!” Gerard called out, scrabbling through the bush. “Wait for me!”

He finally managed to push his way through the bush and found himself in front of a tree that wouldn’t have looked too out of place in a Tim Burton movie. It stood taller than all the other trees in the forest, climbing high up into the sky with long twisted branches that almost looked like arms, reaching up and screaming to be saved. Delicately draped over several of the branches were ropes, some blackened with age, some fresh and bright, but all of them ended in nooses. The trunk was old and gnarly, starting about as thick as a house at the base and becoming thinner as it went up, with pictures and words carved into the wood.

“Fuck me,” Gerard breathed.

His fingers suddenly itched for a pencil and paper. He could see it now in his head... maybe a quick sketch in pencil but then inked in using dark, autumnal colours... browns, oranges, blacks... if he added pumpkins around the base, maybe added a few dying leaves onto the branches, and perhaps the hint of previous hanging victims hiding just in the shadows...

“Gerard? What you doing?”

Frank’s voice cut through Gerard’s thoughts. Gerard gave his head a small shake. Weird. He hadn’t felt the urge to do anything creative for years.

“Nothing,” he said quickly. “What is this place?”

Frank flew over to Gerard’s side and flicked his nose. “This is Hangman’s Tree,” he said with a grin. “Even the pirates don’t dare come here.”

“Why not?”

“They’re a superstitious bunch. They wouldn’t dare come to the place where so many of them have died before.” Frank laughed and flew up to one of the empty nooses, playfully swatting it and making it swing. “Anyway. Let’s go inside! I’m starving!”

He flew down and grabbed Gerard’s hand again, pulling him around the other side of the tree where Kitty was waiting for them, sitting patiently on one of the lower branches with her feet swinging beneath her and lightly holding on to one of the nooses.

“OK, stand here,” Frank said, leading Gerard to a spot between two of the roots.

“Here?” Gerard asked.

“Yup!” Frank said cheerfully. “OK – NOW!”

Kitty yanked down on the noose and – oh, of course, it wasn’t just a noose. The ground beneath Gerard suddenly disappeared and he went tumbling down the trapdoor with a yell of surprise.


~*~*~


Gerard didn’t fall for very long – certainly not long enough to hurt himself in the landing – although that might have been more to do with how the ground he landed on sloped downwards at a sharp angle, sending him uncontrollably tumbling and rolling down, arms and legs flailing in all directions until he crashed painfully into an uneven wall. Seeing stars, he slowly looked up.

“Well well well, look what the cat dragged in!” Jimmy said as Gerard slowly got to his feet, looking around.

The smell of cooking was the first thing Gerard noticed, and perhaps it was just from that alone but the entire hideout had a very homely feel to it despite the outside appearances. The room was small but in a way that was more cosy than claustrophobic, even if Gerard had to stoop slightly to not whack his head on the ceiling. Roots from the tree above them poked through in a mad tangle with various objects such as toys, pans and swords hanging from them. Bunk beds were crudely carved into hollows in the walls, and there was a fireplace at the far side where Steve was standing over a giant pot stirring something and paying no attention to Gerard.

The majority of the floor space was taken up by a fancy dining table that Gerard was willing to bet all his life savings on had been looted from the pirate ship. The legs had been sawn off to make it so short it barely reached Gerard’s knees. Ray was setting the table with a mismatched set of knives, forks and plates while Lyn-Z and Jimmy were having a very violent arm wrestling match that made Ray’s careful setting shake violently every time she slammed Jimmy’s hand down.

There was only one other doorway in the hideout next to the fireplace. Its entrance was covered by a curtain of leaves finely sewn together in a very similar style to the clothes Frank wore, clearly identifying who the room behind it belonged to.

Gerard was trying to work out how the hell he was supposed to even fit in this hobbit hole when Kitty came shooting down the slide behind him with a gleeful yell, kicking Gerard in the back. If he hadn’t grabbed one of the overhanging roots in time, he would have gone flying into the table that Ray was so painstakingly setting.

“Where’s Frank?” Steve asked Kitty as she brushed herself off and got up.

“He’s on his way down. Him and Tinkerbell are having a ‘chat’.” She made air-quotes.

“Oh, big surprise there,” Steve said, shooting a glare at Gerard.

“Leave off, Steve, it’s not his fault!” Ray said.

“Well actually, it is,” Kitty shrugged and pushed past Gerard, sitting down crossed-legged on the floor at one of the places at the table as Ray did the same. Gerard wondered how they’d even got the table down here in the first place, seeing as it was about three times the size of the hole he’d just dropped through.

“What?” he asked.

Steve glared at him, because apparently, that was the only expression he had reserved for Gerard. “Tink. She doesn’t like having to compete for Frank’s attention.”

Gerard’s mind flew to the image of an old Tinkerbell t-shirt that Bert used to own. He’d snatched it out a Goodwill drop-off point. After Mickey Mouse, Tinkerbell was one of the most recognisable Disney characters, as a blond and sassy fairy who flew around doing things like saving the rainforests with other fairies (at least, that was the impression Gerard had gotten from the various Tinkerbell movies he’d seen advertised on TV). What was the big deal?

“I’m only here for three days,” he pointed out. “Can’t she just suck it up?”

Steve snorted with laughter as he placed a basket of bread in the middle of the table.

“It’s not that simple,” Kitty said, helping herself to a slice of bread.

“Why not?”

“It’s just how she is,” Ray explained. He gestured for Gerard to come over and sit next to him, to which Gerard gratefully obliged. As he was settling on the dusty ground, Ray continued. “Tinkerbell isn’t bad, so to speak. It’s just that fairies are really small, and because they’re so small, they can’t ever feel more than one thing at a time.”

“When she’s good, she very good,” Lyn-Z said through a mouthful of bread. “But when she’s bad –”

“She’s homicidal,” Gerard finished, suddenly worried. In the book, hadn’t Tinkerbell tried to kill Wendy at one point? “Do you think she’d turn traitor and go to Captain Hook?”

“Probably,” Jimmy shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time it happened.”


~*~*~


As Frank’s ‘chat’ with Tinkerbell was clearly taking longer than expected, the Lost Boys gave up on waiting for him and started eating. Steve served up some kind of vegetable stew which was surprisingly delicious, not to mention unexpectedly healthy considering that it was cooked by feral children.

“It’s nice to have real food for a change,” Ray said through a mouthful.

“You don’t normally?” Gerard asked.

“We normally eat make-believe food,” Kitty answered before Ray could speak. “But Frank said you’d probably have an issue with that so we went with real food.”

Kitty lit some candles in the centre of the table, Lyn-Z dished up the food and when they were done, Jimmy collected the bowls and put them in a basket to the side in a way that suggested a comfortable routine long-established.

“I’ve saved some for Frank and Tinkerbell,” Steve said, putting the lid on the pot and leaving it to simmer over the dying embers of the fire.

“You guys are really well organised,” Gerard blurted out as Jimmy started to collect up the plates. “Like seriously, what the fuck, what kinds of kids tidy up after themselves?!”

He’d never been that organised when he was living with Bert. They normally ate takeaway or ready meals straight from the packet, then left the empty boxes and containers around the apartment for months afterwards.

The Lost Boys, including Steve, all laughed at this.

“We used to just leave things,” Ray explained. “But after we’d eaten real food, they started to smell really bad and then we started getting really gross maggots and flies everywhere, so we just started to clean up after ourselves instead.”

“Do you remember that?!” Lyn-Z suddenly shrieked, laughing. “That morning where I woke up and I actually had maggots in my hair?!”

“That was so gross!! And then there was the time where Steve went to cook and found all the food was covered in mold!!” Kitty added.

“It was horrible,” Ray said in a soft undertone to Gerard, unheard by the other Lost Boys as they reminisced.

“I bet it was,” Gerard agreed.

“Have you ever had maggots, Gerard?” he asked.

Gerard paused. His and Bert’s apartment was always overrun with not just maggots but cockroaches and about a hundred other bugs and types of mold. There was never any edible food in the cupboards because they didn’t go food shopping but they’d always been so wasted that they didn’t care about it anyway. “Yeah. Once or twice.”

“It’s not fun, is it?” Ray asked brightly.

“Really, really not.”

“Did you get rid of yours?”

“I – uh... I kinda just left and moved into a new home.” His Mom’s home. “What about you, Ray? What about the home you lived in before you came here?”

Ray frowned in confusion. “I’ve always lived here.”

“What? But what about your Mom -”

“I don’t remember,” Ray said and then repeated “I’ve always lived here.”

Gerard knew when not to push an issue, so he left it.

By the time Frank came back (with Tinkerbell floating behind him in an unmistakable sulk), all the plates had been tidied away and the Lost Boys were settling down comfortably on the floor in front of the fire. Gerard had tried to stay out the way again, awkwardly feeling far too big to do anything except be a useless obstacle and cause destruction at the slightest wrong move. Instead, he remained on the floor next to Ray, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

“Lost Boys, story time!” Frank said the minute his feet gracefully touched the floor as Tinkerbell flew over and settled on the ledge over the fireplace. He shot a wink at Gerard.

The rest of the Lost Boys started dragging various pillows and blankets off their beds, throwing them carelessly in piles on the floor which they immediately dropped down into. Much to Gerard’s complete surprise, instead of joining her fellow Lost Boys on the floor, Lyn-Z dumped her pillow on Gerard’s lap and sat down heavily on him, causing him to let out a little “oof!”

“What?” she asked, squirming around to get comfortable. “You look like a good pillow!”

“Lyn-Z likes Ge-raaard!” Jimmy cat-called from across the room as Frank scowled.

“Gross!” Lyn-Z flipped Jimmy the bird.

Gerard was frozen in place as this exchange took place, entirely unsure where to put his hands. The natural place seemed to be with one around her shoulder but that seemed too familiar for a kid he’d just met and he was also terrified of accidentally doing any form of ‘bad-touch’ –

And then Lyn-Z put her head on his chest and snuggled in, getting settled. Ray seemed to his cue from this and curled up against Gerard’s side, pushing himself under Gerard’s other arm and OK, now Gerard was totally at a loss of what to do.

Generally, kids didn’t like him. From what little experience he’d had with them, if they weren’t delighting in tormenting him, they normally ran screaming from “the scary grumpy man with the greasy black hair.” Finding himself with not one but two children who seemed to like him enough to treat him as a human-sized beanbag was an entirely new experience.

After minimal outward flailing (but untold depths of it inwardly), he eventually settled for putting one arm over Ray’s shoulder and lightly wrapping the other around Lyn-Z’s waist. She giggled appreciatively.

“So, how’s Tink?” Steve asked as Frank settled himself down on the largest pile of pillows and bearskins, the bowl of leftover food in his hand.

“She’s sulking,” Frank said casually through a mouthful. “Hey Steve, this is good!”

For a second, Gerard was terrified Steve was going to make a point about how Tinkerbell’s strop was his fault but all the boy did was nod, apparently satisfied at the compliment.

“So, who’s turn is it to tell the story tonight?” Frank asked.

“Story?” Gerard asked.

“We take it turns to tell the story each night,” Frank explained. “It can be any kind of story, the only rule is that they have to have a happy ending.”

“And be good,” Steve said, shooting a nasty smile in Gerard’s direction. “Hey, why doesn’t Gerard tell the story tonight? Seeing as he’s the guest and all!”

“Great idea!” Frank clapped his hands in delight. “Go for it, Gee!”

If it hadn’t been for the warm weight of Lyn-Z and Ray holding him in place, he would been bolting for the door. “I – I can’t! I haven’t got anything prepared!”

“Well, make one up!” Frank said, like it was obvious.

“I – I really can’t.”

“Sure you can!” Frank protested. “Like how we used to play, remember??”

“I – uh...” Gerard’s mind flailed around. A story. Right. How did stories begin? “Once upon a time... there was... a ... you know... a... uh... thing.”

If he really thought about it, Gerard hadn’t made anything up for years. He hadn’t used his imagination for anything particularly adventurous, not since he’d met Bert and replaced all his childhood dreams and ambitions with apathy and alcohol.

Mercifully, Kitty seemed to realise he was struggling.

“I’ve got a story,” she said, sparing him from explaining this. “OK, so once upon a time, Cinderella decided that she wanted to go exploring in the part of the castle that Captain Blackbeard had forbidden her to go into...”

Gerard let himself zone out as Kitty weaved her tale out of nothing into something. The Lost Boys all listened to Kitty in rapt silence, and for a brief second, he felt a stab of jealousy. She was clearly making the story up as she went along but she had them completely enchanted. With only the smallest of self-pitying sighs, he stared into the fireplace so didn’t have to see the look of confusion and disappointment on Frank’s face.

When had he let his imagination properly die? He wasn’t even sure if he could pin-point a general age bracket in his life. At some point, maybe, between being the classroom joke for playing Peter Pan in the school play and his failing as an adult artist, his failing as a comic book writer, at every fucking artistic career he’d tried. He’d just... given up.

If you’d asked him barely twenty four hours ago, Gerard would have said he was too old to care about such childish things like make-believe. Even sitting in the middle of it all with the golden glow coming from a real life pixie barely five foot away from him, there was still that tiny part of him that firmly said there was no such thing as faith, trust and pixie dust. Believing was just too hard. Not when real life was just so... real. So hard. So dark.

“Like... there’s so much I don’t remember. So many huge chunks of my life I don’t remember, you know? They just don’t exist in my mind anymore even though I know they happened and I know they happened to me but... it just doesn’t feel like it.”

“That’s understandable. This is a perfectly normal reaction, Gerard, especially to what you’ve been through. I’ve had many patients in your position before saying the exact same thing.”

“Yeah... I... I don’t know. I mean, I’m kinda sad about it, like... sorta lonely, you know? But at the same time, I... I think I’m OK with that too.”

“As long as you’re happy and feel that this is the best way for you to recover, then we can leave it there, but I do have to warn you, in a situation like yours, certain memories might not be so much forgotten as they are merely repressed.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that they might find other ways to let themselves – and the issues they concern – be known to you, and they can be triggered by a number of things.”

Gerard stared at the dancing shadows cast on the walls by the flames. He supposed he could make up some memories to fill in the gaps. Maybe that might help kick-start the whole imagination thing. Once upon a time, there was a loser called Gerard who was an alcoholic and in a shitty relationship, and one day, he did something incredibly stupid but it was OK because he owned a pet unicorn that shit rainbows and with a flick of its mane that was made of stardust, everything was amazing and perfect –

“And they all lived happily ever after,” Kitty finished.



Part Three