chimneythunder (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chimneythunder) wrote2013-06-26 07:45 pm
chimneythunder) wrote2013-06-26 07:45 pm
Entry tags:
Fic: Somewhere In Neverland - Part Four
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
It was just after the Lost Boys were tidying up from dinner when Frank suddenly announced that it was Gerard’s turn to tell the story tonight.
“You skipped on last night so there’s no excuse for you not to tonight!” he said.
“But – but I can’t!!” Gerard had protested.
“Nah, you’ll be fine,” Frank said with a wink.
In desperation, Gerard volunteered to help Lyn-Z take the plates to the river so he could get her help on things.
“Can you keep a secret?” he asked as they were washing the pans.
“Sure!” Lyn-Z said, a little bit too eagerly.
“Come on, I need you to swear on this,” he said.
She put down the plate she’d been rinsing on the band, placed one hand over her heart and held up the other solemnly. “Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye,” she recited. “Rip my throat out with a hook, and beat me with a mouldy book. And ne’er again will I breathe if these secrets here I do deceive.”
Gerard stared at her.
“That’s a bit.. um... wordy,” he said. “I didn’t know that’s how the rest of that went.”
She gave him her usual shit-eating grin. “That’s the vow we make here. We mostly shorten it to the whole ‘cross my heart’ part.”
“Right... anyway. I need your help. See, Frank’s said I have to tell the story tonight.”
Lyn-Z stared at him, clearly not comprehending just how fucked this meant Gerard was.
“So?” she asked.
“So! I can’t do it! I can’t make some story up like that!!”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have any imagination,” Gerard admitted.
Lyn-Z stared at him but then inexplicably cracked up laughing.
“Of course you do, you dummy!” she said, giving him a whack around on the arm with one of the wet plates. “Where do you think you got the sketchbook from?!”
“Your trunk?” He suddenly wasn’t sure if that was the right answer. “You know, your trunk of art supplies and stuff? It was at the bottom, I assumed it was one of yours!”
Lyn-Z shook her head and laughed.
“Nah!” She shook her head. “I don’t like drawing that much. I like making things.”
It suddenly occurred to Gerard that it was a little odd to expect a small child to own a spare leather-bound notebook with great quality paper and pens that were designed specifically for graphic artists.
“But – but –”
“Neverland is what you want it be,” she said.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, people keep saying that to me,” he said irritably.
“I don’t think you quite get it though,” she said. “You know we had make-believe food tonight?”
The plate Gerard was washing slipped out between his fingers and landed in the river with a loud splash.
“But – but – but I ate it?!”
Lyn-Z picked up the clean plates and gave him a wide smile.
“Yes,” she said. “You did.”
He was still trying to get his head around this when she kicked him.
“Come on! Let’s go back, I want to hear your story!!”
As they went back to the hideout, Gerard suddenly realised the obvious question he hadn’t asked.
“Hang on, if the meal was make-believe, why the fuck did we just wash up the plates!?”
~*~*~
When they got back to the Hangman’s Tree, the Lost Boys had already set themselves up comfortably on the floor and Frank was flying around the room in lazy circles. Ray had created a large nest of pillows for Gerard and Lyn-Z.
“Alright Lost Boys!” Frank said when Gerard and Lyn-Z had sat down. Lyn-Z had sat on Gerard’s lap again. “Gerard’s going to tell us a story tonight!”
The Lost Boys were all immediately staring eagerly up at Gerard. Even Steve seemed to be interested, although he was trying not to look it. Frank floated down, settling himself in the middle.
“Uh,” Gerard cleared his throat nervously. “I don’t really know any –”
“Of course you do! You used to tell me them all the time!” Frank protested. “Remember? The games we’d play in your garden?”
A few days ago, Gerard could barely remember that Frank even existed, let alone the games they used to play. It would have been cruel to point this out though.
“Uh,” Gerard said again. He looked at Lyn-Z, sitting in his lap comfortably. “Once upon a time, there was a princess –”
“Bor-ing!!” Kitty interrupted. “Princesses are lame!!”
“Yeah, Princesses are all girly and useless!” Lyn-Z said. “Yuk!”
“Princes aren’t much better,” Jimmy said, drawing his knees up to his chest. “They always fall in go off to do something awesome like fight a dragon but end up falling in love at the end!”
“Falling in love isn’t that bad,” Gerard said. Falling in love was actually kinda nice. It was all the shit that came afterwards when you realised you’d fallen in love with the wrong person that was the horrible part.
“It’s gross!” Lyn-Z said as the other Lost Boys and Frank nodded in agreement.
“It’s what grown-ups do,” Frank added, as if the ‘grown-ups’ was a disgusting swear word. “Grown-ups fall in love and get married and do all sorts of boring things!”
“What?! That’s not true!” Gerard spluttered. “Kids can fall in love too! Tiger-Lily totally had a crush on you!”
Gerard had assumed that the original story, the one everyone knew, was fact. The fact that the Lost Boys all shrieked in delighted disgust as Frank looked horrified pretty much confirmed this.
“No she doesn’t!” Frank protested.
“Does too!” Gerard said.
“Does not!”
“Does too!”
“Does not times a hundred!”
“Does too times infinity!”
“Does not times double infinity!!” Frank yelled.
“Does to- oh fuck it, why am I arguing with you about this?” Gerard rolled his eyes. “Fine, she doesn’t. Whatever, don’t act like you don’t play up to it. Now, back to the story!!”
Frank had gone bright red. Gerard ignored him and continued.
“OK, so once upon a time, there was a Princess but -” He held up his hand, sensing the oncoming protests. “This princess was not your normal kind of princess. She hated dresses and loved fighting, climbing and exploring.”
“Did she fight pirates?” Steve asked.
“Of course!”
“And did she hunt injuns?” Jimmy asked.
“Thousands of them!”
“What about monsters?” Ray asked.
“Without fear!” Gerard said.
There was a pause and then Ray shyly asked “What kind of monsters?”
Gerard paused. What kind of monsters would be suitable for this kind of story? He didn’t really want to scare them, especially as Ray probably couldn’t have been more than five. On the other hand, they all seemed like pretty tough kids.
“Uh, all kinds,” Gerard said. “Werewolves, mummies, zombies –”
“What about vampires?” Jimmy asked.
“Can the princess be a vampire??” Lyn-Z asked as Kitty clapped her hands delightedly. “Frank’s told us about vampires before! They’re awesome, they fly around and suck your blood!”
“And they’re allergic to sunlight!” Steve said.
“And crosses and stinky garlic!” Ray added.
Gerard decided he liked these kids. “Sure, the princess was a vampire,” he said. “She lived in this really huge, old castle filled with bats and dust and she would torment the local villagers by swooping down on them in the middle of the night and drinking their blood.”
“Cool!!” the Lost Boys all said in unison.
“She had a good life,” Gerard continued. “She loved her life and the villagers secretly all loved her too because she never actually killed them when she drank from them; sure, she gave them one hell of a scare but no one ended up dead. Plus, her presence in the area meant that other bad people who would hurt the town stayed away out of fear. This was how things were done for hundreds of years, generations passing and growing up in the town as the vampire princess stayed in her castle, never aging.”
“What a generation?” Ray asked.
“Your mom’s a generation,” Jimmy said as the other kids burst out laughing.
Gerard was about to answer when Frank beat him to it. “A generation is a growing up thing,” Frank said. “When a new generation shows up, it means the last one has grown up.”
“Yeah, that’s about right Frank,” Gerard said with a smile. “You’re all a generation of your own.”
Frank grinned. “We’re the last generation. We don’t grow up so there can’t be any more!”
Gerard didn’t bother to contradict him. “But one day, an evil pirate came upon the village,” he continued. “An evil, terrifying pirate with a hook in place of one of his hands.”
“Captain Hook!!” Ray cried, looking suitably terrified.
“Exactly!” Gerard nodded. “Hook had heard the tales of the vampire princess’s immortality and decided he wanted in on it. For one thing, he was getting old and decrepit himself so he wanted to stop aging. But as well as that, he was jealous of her ability to fly. Hook believed that if he could fly, he would be finally be able to catch that wretched Peter Pan.”
Frank let out a triumphant crow, causing giggles throughout the Lost Boys. Even Gerard grinned at this.
“So Hook kidnapped the vampire princess and took her to his pirate ship.” Gerard sketched out the ship in the air with his hands, careful not to knock Lyn-Z out his lap. “He locked her away in the hull, put crucifixes on the door so she couldn’t get out and made the crew always carry garlic on them so she couldn’t attack them.”
Gerard cleared his throat and adopted a very camp pose.
“’My dear, I have a proposal for you,’ Captain Hook said a week after she’d been locked away with only rats to feed on. ‘And it’s a very fair one – you turn me into a vampire and I will spare your life and set you free. You have three days to make your decision.’”
The Lost Boys and Frank giggled, delighted at Gerard’s impression of Hook.
“By this point, the vampire princess was half-mad with hunger so she could only hiss at him weakly in response. She knew he couldn’t be trusted; Hook was a villainous man who would twist his word. Sure, he said he’d set her free but he’d probably do it in the middle of the day. The vampire princess was well and truly trapped with no hope of escape or survival.”
There were cries of horror and outrage from the Lost Boys. Jimmy even yelled “What a fucking asshole!” (which Gerard had a nasty suspicion had been picked up from his own language. Oh well, too late to start censoring himself now).
“Someone has to save her!!” Ray cried, clutching his cheeks with his hands.
“Yeah!!” Lyn-Z agreed, her pigtails bobbing as she nodded vehemently in agreement. “He can’t just kill her!!”
Lyn-Z, Ray and Kitty all looked on the verge of tears, while Steve and Jimmy were both listening with rapt attention. They were completely absorbed in the story - far too absorbed for Gerard’s liking, especially now that he suddenly realised he had no idea how to get the vampire princess out.
“The village, meanwhile, started mourning for the vampire princess,” Gerard said, trying to stall for time. “They needed her; she protected them from other kinds of bad people. The villagers knew that they were completely defenceless without her, so they sent word to the only person who could help them...”
He paused. The entire room seemed to be holding its breath in anticipation.
“Well?” Kitty asked after the silence went on for just a second too long. “Who was it??”
“It was... an awesome person. A really rad kind of person,” Gerard said, desperately trying to think. “I mean, it’s not like the vampire princess was submitting to the usual ‘damsel in distress’ cliché, she was normally pretty competent at looking after herself, you know? I’m not implying the whole useless-woman-big-strong-man-who-will-rescue-her dichotomy, it’s just –”
“So who was it?” Steve interrupted Gerard’s rambling.
“What?”
“Who was the person the village sent for??” Steve said impatiently.
“It was... it was...” Gerard trailed off.
“Well, it’s obvious!” Frank said suddenly, a triumphant grin on his face. Like the Lost Boys, he was sitting crossed-legged, but unlike them, he was floating about two-foot off the ground. “The village would call in the only person daring, brave and clever enough to outwit Hook – the legendary Peter Pan, of course!”
Gerard grinned, relieved. “Of course, who else?” he said. The story came together instantly in his head. “Peter Pan was the boy of legends, and the village had heard many a story about him, some from the vampire princess herself. There were even some rumours that Peter and her were from a similar kind of magic, what with the whole ‘flying and never aging’ thing. So Peter Pan was called in and –”
“Tell us about Peter Pan,” Frank said suddenly. “I want a description of him.”
“Of course you would... OK, let’s see... Peter Pan. I guess, you could say he was... short.”
Frank’s face fell. “Hey!!”
“What?! You are!!” Gerard laughed.
“I meant what was he like?” Frank clarified. “You know, daring, brave, clever...”
“Well, yes, all of those,” Gerard said with a careless wave of his hand. “You could also say he was –”
“Handsome?” Frank asked. “Incredibly good looking?”
“Yeah, all of that too. And don’t forget facetious, narcissistic and callow.”
“Ha! I knew it!” Frank said proudly and winked at Gerard.
Gerard laughed, shaking his head as his hair fell over it. It was probably from the warmth from the candles that his face suddenly felt so hot.
“So, back to the story,” Gerard said, pushing his hair off his burning cheeks. “The village called in Peter Pan to save their vampire princess. He readily agreed and set off –”
“But!” Frank suddenly cut in with a sly grin. “Peter Pan wouldn’t go alone. In fact, on this adventure, I think he’d have another vampire with him.”
“Another vampire? Really?” Gerard asked. Where the hell was Frank going with this?
“Yu-huh,” Frank nodded. “This vampire was one of Peter Pan’s best friends. He was a lot bigger than all the other vampires but Peter Pan didn’t mind because he knew that this vampire was still awesome. The vampire was really pale – paler than most vampires – and had long black hair which was always hiding his face.”
Gerard had been idly playing with a strand of his own long black hair that had fallen over his face. He pushed it back, sitting upright like he’d been electrocuted and pretended not to hear Steve’s derisive snort.
“So, this vampire,” Frank continued, holding Gerard’s gaze. “He could be a bit grumpy sometimes but that was really because he was really just lonely and sad. So Peter Pan invited this lonely vampire on the adventure so the vampire wouldn’t be alone anymore...”
“Right,” Gerard said, clearing his throat. His heart felt like it was beating strangely. “And the lonely vampire was really grateful. But they had to save the vampire princess.” He gave his head a small shake, bringing himself back into the story. He’d completely forgotten about his enraptured audience. “So Peter Pan and the lonely vampire flew away to Captain Hook’s ship. They could only just hope that they’d reach it in time...
“Meanwhile, the vampire princess was starting to lose hope. Three days had passed and dawn was only hours away. Captain Hook led the vampire princess out from her prison in the hold and took her up onto the main deck, where he chained her to the mast. The chains were rubbed in garlic and holy water that burnt her, but she stood there in silence.
“‘Well, my dear?’ he asked. ‘Will you transform me into one of yours?’
“‘Never,’ she answered in a hiss. ‘You have degraded and humiliated me. I wouldn’t feed on you if you were last human on earth!’
“‘Very well, my dear,’ said Hook, and he pulled out a wooden stake. ‘You leave me no choice.’
“As you know, a wooden stake through the heart is one of the few sure-fire ways to kill a vampire. The vampire princess knew this and she closed her eyes, determined to face her death with dignity. Captain Hook raised the stake above his head, aiming for her heart – ”
Gerard paused, looking at the Lost Boys. Jimmy was rocking back and forth slightly, his knees clutched to his chest. Steve was biting his nails. Lyn-Z had buried her face in Gerard’s chest, her fist tightly clutching his shirt. Kitty’s eyes were wider than ever, exaggerated by her racoon-stripe war-paint. Ray had his eyes shut tightly.
And Frank was staring directly at Gerard with a crooked smile playing on his lips.
“And – POW!!” Gerard slapped his hands together, making all the Lost Boys jump. “Suddenly, from out of nowhere, something green and faster than a speeding bullet, faster than the speed of sound, came shooting down and snatched the stake out of Hook’s hand.”
“Peter Pan!!” Ray cried in delight.
“Got it in one!” Gerard said. “Peter Pan swooped down and challenged Captain Hook to a fight, horrified at the treatment of the vampire princess. He also used this as a distraction so that the lonely vampire could get the chains off the vampire princess and get her free.”
“I thought the chains were soaked in garlic and holy water?” Kitty asked.
Damn. Gerard had forgotten about that detail.
“They were,” Frank explained quickly. “But the lonely vampire was extra brave and didn’t let the pain show.” Frank paused and then stared directly at Gerard. “He was good at that.”
Gerard gulped.
“Uh yeah... so. The lonely vampire got the vampire princess free while Peter Pan and Captain Hook were fighting and- ”
“What about the Captain Hook’s crew?” Jimmy asked.
“The vampire princess and the lonely vampire ate them,” Gerard said carelessly. The Lost Boys all cheered at this. “So while they were taking care of the crew, Peter and Hook were engaged in a deadly and violent duel. Swords were clashing, their feet were dancing – several times, Hook thought he had Peter Pan cornered but then Peter would always fly up and out of his grasp.”
“Ha!” Lyn-Z shouted, suddenly jumping to her feet and drawing her wooden sword. “Hook’s no match for Peter Pan!!”
“Nope,” Gerard agreed. “But then, they all heard it – tick tock, tick tock, tick tock - ”
The Lost Boys all shouted in delight “The crocodile!!” as Frank rolling around in the air above them, clutching his sides as he laughed.
Gerard continued. “Hook was so terrified the minute he heard the crocodile approaching that he immediately ran screaming down into the hold, locking himself away. Meanwhile, the two vampires and Peter Pan had to fly back extra fast to the vampire princesses village to avoid sunrise. Of course, they made it, just in time. The vampire princess and her village were so grateful to Peter Pan and the lonely vampire that they offered them a place to live there forever. However, Peter Pan knew he had to go back to Neverland, so he flew away, back to Neverland where he had many more adventures.”
He paused and then couldn’t resist adding “And they all lived happily ever after.”
There was an awed silence that fell in the hideout. It lasted for about two seconds, and then the Lost Boys erupted with cheers and applause. Frank swooped around, crowing and doing backflips through the air.
~*~*~
It was a little bit later into the night when the Lost Boys were all tucked up in their beds and the sounds of soft snoring could be heard that Gerard was abruptly woken from his own sleep. For a second, he didn’t know what had woken him; and then he saw Frank was floating a few inches above him.
“Frank?!” Gerard yawned. “What are you doing?”
“Shh.” Frank pressed a finger lightly to Gerard’s lips. “Don’t wake the Lost Boys.”
“They could probably sleep through a nuclear bomb,” Gerard muttered. He made no attempt to sit up and Frank made no attempt to move. Gerard tilted his head slightly on his pillow, looking up at Frank. “What do you want?”
“I really liked your story, Gee,” Frank said with a soft smile. “It was the best one I’ve ever heard.”
Gerard raised an eyebrow. “The best ever?”
“Ever ever.” Frank nodded solemnly. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Well. Thanks.” Gerard yawned again. “Why couldn’t you wait until morning to tell me this?”
“I’d forget.” Frank shrugged. “Anyway, I had a question, about the lonely vampire.”
“What about him?”
“What happened to him? You were a bit sketchy on what happened to him...”
Gerard felt his heartbeat speed up. “Well, I guess –”
“The vampire princess offered him a place in her castle, just as Peter Pan offered him a place in Neverland,” Frank carried on, oblivious. “But you didn’t say what the lonely vampire chose.”
“I – I don’t know Frank. I guess it’s up to you.”
“Why would he choose the vampire princess over Peter Pan?” Frank asked. The only illumination in the room came from the dying embers in the fire, casting Frank’s face in half-shadow. Gerard could still see the frown. “What could the vampire princess offer the lonely vampire that Peter Pan couldn’t?”
“It’s just a story, Frank,” Gerard said. In the poor lighting, the angles on Frank’s face seemed sharper, less childlike.
“It’s not though, is it?”
Gerard stared at Frank. Their faces were so close, only inches apart. Gerard could feel Frank’s breathing on his lips. Personal space boundaries had never been Frank’s strong suit but this time, it felt different. It felt as if Frank was purposefully pushing things.
“Frank –” The next words got stuck in Gerard’s throat.
“Gee,” Frank whispered. His head moved and suddenly Gerard’s view was completely obscured by the tangled spikes of Frank’s hair. When he next spoke, his lips brushed against Gerard’s ear. “Stay here... in Neverland.”
Gerard couldn’t speak for what felt like an eternity. Frank’s body was so close that he could feel his warmth through the thin blanket that separated them. All he could see was Frank’s dark hair and a few snatches of golden pixie light and he could smell Frank’s familiar scent; Dirt. Leaves. The sea air. The smell of all four seasons rolled into one, of Christmas, of Thanksgiving, of warm coffee on a cold day, of pumpkin pie, of cigarette smoke, magic...
Up this close, it was intoxicating, making Gerard’s head spin like he was flying. Better than any drug, better than any drink and just as ultimately unsatisfying. Gerard closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.
“Gerard.” Frank’s voice was so quiet that he could have just been mouthing the words, barely breathing. “Stay in Neverland.... with me. Don’t go back.”
He could see it playing out in his mind. Him and Frank, forever. He could stay here. He’d be safe here. It would always be fun. They would fight pirates, explore Neverland and then he would tell stories to the Lost Boys at night. He would never have to worry about a single thing again. He would never have to think about recovery or depression or medication. Bills, taxes and jobs would never cross his mind. He could stay and play forever, and never get his heart broken again or waste time on useless relationships... or even get into them in the first place... and he’d never see his family again... and Pete would never go home...
Gerard’s eyes reluctantly fluttered open.
“I can’t,” he whispered. “You know that.”
Frank pulled back so quickly Gerard felt cold. “Why?” Frank asked. The hurt was unmistakable on his face.
Gerard tried to find the words. There were so many reasons to stay only the ones to go back were so much more compelling, but also so much more complex.
“I want to grow up.”
As soon as he spoke the words, he realised how true they still were. He was almost 30 and he still had some growing up to do, who knew?
Frank made a noise of disgust and rolled away.
“Fine!” he said, barely troubling to keep his voice down. “Go back and grow up!! But once you’re an adult, you can never come back here!”
And without another word, Frank flew off, disappearing behind the curtain to his room.
For a few seconds, Gerard lay in stunned silence in his too-small bunk with his feet sticking over the edge. When he turned his head, he could see Lyn-Z’s eyes reflecting out the dark. She blinked and then rolled over.
Gerard sighed and resumed staring back at the muddy ceiling.
~*~*~
Gerard had another nightmare that night.
He was back at his and Bert’s old flat. He was walking up the stairs, opening the front door and immediately drawn to the unmistakable gasps and cries of pleasure coming from behind the closed bedroom door. He glided towards it –
No, I don’t want to see this, he thought. He turned away and found himself in a long black corridor with glass walls. He could see his own reflection, scared and tired-looking, repeated the entire way down the corridor. Left or right, it didn’t seem to matter. There was no end in sight either way.
The hairs on the back of his neck suddenly stood up. Something was behind him.
Don’t turn around. If you do, it’ll get you.
He started to run but it – whatever it was – was gaining on him. He could feel hot breath on his neck, hear snapping jaws. He ran faster and then it got him, sinking its long claws into the back of his neck –
And then the wall in front of him ripped in half. Three long, spindly fingers poked their way through the crack, forcing it apart. Gerard looked up at the crack and saw from the other side of the wall there was an eye, wide, round and insane, staring at him from the other side. He spun around to find himself down a familiar alley with the stench of stale piss, vomit and alcohol so heavy in the air it was almost suffocating.
“I don’t want to see this,” Gerard said. “I don’t want to see this!”
There was a man slumped against a wall, his long, black greasy hair covering his face. There were pills scattered on the ground around him, an empty syringe still sticking in the vein of one arm and a bottle of cheep whiskey spilled next to him.
“I don’t want to see this,” Gerard repeated, trying to force himself to look away. “It didn’t happen. I can’t remember this.”
The pathetic figure of a man looked up at Gerard – really looked up – and shook his hair out his face. His skin was mottled, pale as death with bags under his eyes that suggested he hadn’t slept for months. His eyes were wild, bloodshot, tear-stained.
And of course, it was Gerard.
“I didn’t do this,” Gerard said, desperately stepping back to get away from himself.
But then the memory of himself was staring at him, laughing. With one bony finger, he hooked a finger into the corner of his mouth and pulled – pulled his flesh until it split, tearing his face in two revealing the skull and muscle underneath –
He woke up abruptly, breathing heavily. For a second, he just stared up at the tree roots above him, blinking a few times. He’d been warned one of the potential side-effects of his medication was incredibly vivid dreams but seriously, what the fuck was that?! Was that from detoxing?! It had only been three days...
Three days.
It ran through him like a jolt of electricity. Tomorrow... tomorrow he had to face Bert.
He looked around but the Lost Boys were all still fast asleep. As quietly as he could, he got up off his bunk and tiptoed his way outside.
The morning breeze of Neverland seemed to sparkle in the morning sun. Gerard took a deep breath, curling his toes in the grass as the wind gently blew past him, scattering leaves and messing up his hair.
He could stay here, he thought idly. It was wonderful, it was beautiful. If he really had to... At least he would never have to deal with all the shit back at home again.
For probably the first time in his life, Gerard decided to go for a walk to enjoy the morning. He was starting to know his way around the island well enough to not need a guide, so he set off in the direction of the sea. Fairies peeped out from behind trees and toadstools as he passed, giggling with mischief but did him no harm, contending themselves with making him jump every now and then by snapping twigs and blowing in his ear.
The air around him would occasionally shimmer and sparkled as fairies appeared out of tiny balls of lights. There were so many and flying to quickly he could barely make them out; he could only see glimpses of the faintest details.
“Hey, wait up!” he said, and started to chase them. The fairies giggled, delighted as the new game and lead him through the jungle and to the shore.
“Catch me!!” the smallest one called and flew out to the edge of a tree that was hanging by its roots at a 90 degree angle over the cliff-edge. Gerard grinned and shimmied across the tree, gripping it with his knees and not to look down at the water below. He was barely inches from the fairy when -
“Hello Gerard,” called a sultry voice.
Gerard nearly had a heart attack there and then. It was one of the mermaids from the lagoon, the green haired one. While he’d been so absorbed in playing with the fairies, he’d completely failed to pay attention to his surroundings and now he realised, he was clinging to a tree branch that dangled dangerously only a few feet above the water.
What the fuck was he doing, playing fucking games and chasing fairies?! The fairy stuck its tongue out at him and flew away.
“Hi,” Gerard said weakly, tightening his grip on the branch. He didn’t think she’d be able to reach him from the water but then again, he didn’t know if mermaids could jump very high or not.
“Long time no see,” she purred, tracing patterns in the water with a long finger. “What you been doing?”
“This and that,” Gerard replied. “Fighting pirates, exploring Neverland, all the usual things.” He looked back; if he didn’t make any sudden movements, he might be able to get back to dry land.
“My sisters and I miss you in the lagoon,” she said with a pout. “Won’t you come and visit us some time? We could do with a real man...”
“I – maybe.” Gerard shifted back along the branch, inch by inch.
She flicked up her tail and splashed him.
“You’re so jumpy,” she laughed. “You need to calm down. My sisters and I would be more than happy to assist.”
“I’m great, really. Really. Totally calm. Totally not terrified that I’m about to get drowned again by you.”
The mermaid laughed again, sounding delighted. “We might play rough, sweetheart, but no man can resist us. You’ll come crawling back once you realise what you need.”
Gerard was almost back at the cliff. He was so focused on his feet that when he stupidly said “No offense but I’m not so much into the whole mer-MAID thing,” he completely missed the mermaid’s expression change.
“Oh?” she said, her voice casual. “You’re not into one of the Lost Boys, are you?”
“Christ no!!” Gerard almost fell off the branch in horror. “They’re just kids!!” He looked at the mermaid and only then noticed that her eyes were narrowed.
“So if it’s not us and it’s not the children,” she asked slowly, “then is it the pirates?”
Gerard gulped. She looked beyond pissed off.
“None of them in particular but yeah,” he said hastily. “I guess you could say that I’m more inclined that way, pirates vs mermaids and all. So no offence, you and your sisters are very lovely and I’m really flattered you liked me, but I’m not really into... that kind of thing.”
The mermaid growled. Perhaps it was the light but her hair seemed to have gone a darker shade of green and her mouth suddenly seemed wider... and with more teeth... sharper teeth.
Sharper teeth that she was bearing in an unmistakable look of aggression.
“Oh fuck,” Gerard said.
“You’re rejecting me?” she said in a dangerously quiet voice.
“Uh... no?”
“Yes, yes you are!!” she suddenly shrieked and launched out the water. Gerard threw himself backwards, landing heavily back on solid ground, just as her arms wrapped around the tree and in a display of terrifying strength, actually yanked it out the ground, dirt and water flying everywhere. It crashed into the water in a tremendous splash, sending up a tidal wave that soaked Gerard.
“You ever come anywhere near the water again and you’ll be sorry!!” the mermaid yelled. Gerard risked peering over the edge of cliff; the tree was floating in the water in three pieces. The mermaid had an arm wrapped around one of the pieces with her hair fanning out behind her in the water. Gerard stared, fascinated. The colours were amazing, how her green hair seemed to just melt and blend into the sparkling blue water, like the ocean was part of her...
Gerard should have stopped himself from speaking but he couldn’t help it.
“Does that include the sea in general, or just the lagoon?”
The mermaid gave him a look of incredulous contempt and threw the tree stump at him. He ducked out the way as it went sailing past his head.
“Is that a no?” he asked, but she’d already gone. He could see her shimmer under the water as she swum away, getting smaller and smaller.
He sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the dusky pink sky. “Great going Gerard,” he muttered. “Diplomacy is totally up your alley.”
~*~*~
He traipsed back to the Hangman’s Tree trying not to feel too embarrassed about things. Just as he was glumly thinking that some people were just destined to be fuck-ups in general and he was one of them, Frank suddenly swooped in front of his vision, a huge grin on his face.
“There you are!!” Frank said, sounding relieved. “I was looking for you! The fairies said you’d gone back to Mermaid Lagoon.”
Gerard winced. “Why does everything here keeping trying to kill me via mermaids?!?”
“Probably because it’s fun?” Frank suggested, hastily adding “Not that I agree, of course,” off the death glare Gerard shot him. “Anyway, forget them, I wanted to show you something.”
He held out his hand.
Going on Frank’s last statement, Gerard stared at his hand with a deliberately dubious look.
“Come on, I promise it’s not the lagoon. Do you trust me?”
Yes. Always.
A smile broke through and he reached out, taking Frank’s warm hand and then –
“Close your eyes...”
Gerard obeyed.
“And uh... Don’t scream.”
Frank launched up into the air, yanking Gerard along behind him, and stopping high above the tree top. With a quick flick of his hand, Frank threw Gerard up and caught him with his arms wrapping around Gerard’s chest from behind.
“OK, open your eyes,” he said, giving Gerard a reassuring squeeze.
Gerard wasn’t even sure if he could out of sheer fear. The last time Frank had taken him for a flight was still vividly etched in his head.
“Relax,” Frank said in a softer tone. His breath was hot against Gerard’s ear. “I got you.”
His eyes fluttered open.
“Oh!”
“See? I knew you’d like it!” Frank said smugly.
“It’s not like I haven’t already seen it,” Gerard pointed out.
“Yeah yeah, but not like this.”
He had a point. Granted, Gerard had already seen Neverland from the air on his way in but this time, it looked different. The sky was no longer a block of blue with perfect white clouds but instead a rich range of colours that started on the horizon as a yellow so bright it was almost white that faded up into the slightest hint of mint green which carried on and darkened into swirls of turquoises... then violets, pinks and oranges over their heads and finally apexed as a midnight blue behind.
The island itself looked different too. The landscape was sharper; the cliff edges were more jagged and mountains were more defined with different peaks and heights instead of just basic triangle shapes, and he could even see rivers and waterfalls forming on them. The trees in the jungle below their feet were clearly different types and in the distance, on the shimmering sea, the pirate ship cast sharp shadows, menacing and foreboding.
“It looks... darker,” Gerard eventually said. “Realer.”
Frank rested his chin comfortably on Gerard’s shoulder, his hair brushing against Gerard’s cheek.
“You did this,” he said with a hint of pride in his voice. “The Neverland is what you make it to be.”
“It’s amazing,” Gerard said, awed. Without thinking, his hands reached up and clasped around Frank’s, holding tightly.
“I like the island this way,” Frank said. “I want you to stay. Is it working yet?”
“You just don’t give up, do you?” Gerard asked, unable to keep the grin out his voice.
Frank shook his head. “Nope!”
Gerard let out a theatrical sigh. “OK, go on then. Convince me.”
“A-ha, now you’re talking!”
Without warning, he abruptly dropped into a nosedive.
Gerard’s reply was lost in his scream. His ears popped as they plummeted, the ground rushing up to meet them at a terrifying pace and Frank suddenly yanked up, levelling them out. Gerard’s fingers brushed over the tops of tropical trees and then the trees gave way into a clearing where there was a sparkling blue lake beneath them.
“Hope you can swim!!” Frank said.
“Don’t you fucking dare!!”
Frank laughed and tightened his grip around Gerard’s waist.
“Let go of me!”
“What?! No way!!”
“Trust me!! Let go and hold your arms out.”
“I’m going to regret this...”
His face screwed up in anticipation, he let go of Frank’s arms and held them out and –
“Holy fuck!” he screamed.
Frank was still holding him tightly, his chest pressed against Gerard’s back. He could feel that security. With his arms stretched out though and the ground rushing beneath him, it felt like... well, it felt like he was flying.
“I can see why you love this so much,” he called back to Frank. Frank just laughed and crowed loudly, and Gerard couldn’t help but copy.
~*~*~*
Gerard lost track of how long they were flying around for. Frank was determined to show him every inch of Neverland that he’d never be able to see from on foot and then some. They flew up to the highest mountain, grabbed handfuls of snow and then sped back down to throw them over Mermaid Lagoon. Frank taught Gerard how to slide down a rainbow and how to ride on a star.
“You can’t ride stars!” Gerard had protested when Frank suggested it. “They’re just big balls of gas, they’re not physical objects!”
“They are here,” Frank said, and even though Gerard couldn’t see it, he could tell Frank was rolling his eyes. “They’re beautiful but they don’t really take an active part in anything, they just look on. See, they’ve been punished for something they did so long ago that none of them know what it was. Honestly Gee, haven’t you learnt anything?!”
The stars weren’t that friendly to Frank when he initially showed up; he had a mischievous was of stealing up behind them and trying to blow them out. However, one of the little ones in the Milky Way suddenly spotted Gerard and screamed out in delight.
“You’re here!!” it said, shining brightly. “And look at you!”
“Yeah, look at me,” Gerard said with a sheepish smile. A lifetime ago, or at least it felt it, he remembered lying on the cold concrete down some dirty alley and staring up at the stars, waiting for them to go out for him.
“I wanted to show him how to ride a star,” Frank said, adding “please” when Gerard elbowed him in the ribs.
Stars are so fond of fun and they seldom get to actually partake in it, so when it’s offered up, they happily partake. One of the older ones that had been waiting to fall for a while offered them a ride back down. Frank helped Gerard settle himself on it with a mid-air bow and a “good sir!” before he climbed on behind, holding tightly to Gerard. It was the same as before, with Frank’s arms around Gerard but this time, it felt more that he was holding onto Gerard instead of him holding Gerard up.
The little one that had been so happy to see Gerard winked at them.
“Happy journey!!” it said as the older star wriggled itself free and then they shot back down to earth, a trail of fire and golden sparks lighting up the sky behind them.
~*~*~
The sun was setting when Gerard and Frank made their way back to Hangman’s Tree. For once, Frank was walking normally instead of flying, keeping in step with Gerard as he held his hand. It felt weirdly standard. Occasionally, he’d skip or jump and linger in the air just a second too long or he’d fly in a brief circle around Gerard, but he’d keep coming straight back to Gerard’s side and taking his hand.
“I don’t think you’re human,” Gerard said.
Frank just laughed and swooped in a large circle through the air.
“What are you?” Gerard asked curiously.
“I’m the boy who never grew up,” Frank replied, circling around Gerard so quickly that he felt the air move. “I'm youth, I'm joy. I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg.”
“Nah, you’re something more.” Gerard laughed. “There’s something about you. Something that’s...”
“Wonderful? Amazing? Awesome?” Frank supplied helpfully. He flipped over onto his back, lying horizontal in the air next to Gerard and looked at him with lazy eyes.
Yes.
“Magical,” Gerard said.
Frank grinned at him and Gerard felt his stomach flip.
“Stay?”
Gerard opened his mouth to give the usual “No” but then paused.
Frank didn’t seem to notice. Without missing a beat, he was back on his feet in front of Gerard.
“Oh, by the way, before I forget! I’ve got something for you!”
It was strange. Gerard had never noticed before that Frank wasn’t actually that short. Standing up, he was only a few inches shorter than Gerard. He seemed to be in some weird sort of limbo-state - too short to be an adult but too tall be a child. Gerard figured it probably something to with how Frank spent all his time flying so it was hard to judge height.
As Gerard was pondering this, Frank had pulled something out his pocket which he pressed into Gerard’s palm. It was a thimble.
“You got one for me?” he asked hopefully.
Gerard stared at the thimble in his hand. Something nagged at the edges of his mind... something significant...
“Yeah, of course,” Gerard said, fumbling in his pocket for something to give back. His fingers closed around his Lucky Lighter. “Here you go!” he said, handing it over.
Frank turned the lighter over a few times in his hands, looking at it.
“Wow!! This is cool!!”
“Yeah, just don’t set yourself on fire, OK?”
“It makes fire??” Frank was positively delighted at this news and suddenly bounced on the soles of his feet to throw his arms around Gerard in a hug. His face felt rough, pressed against Gerard’s own.
“What are you doing?!”
Gerard and Frank broke apart. Steve was standing a few feet away from them like he’d caught them doing something disgusting.
“Frank? Oh my - Frank, get away from him, now!!” Steve said, looking horrified.
Frank and Gerard exchanged confused looks.
“What?! It’s just Gee –“ Frank began to say but Steve ran up to them and reached up to grab Frank’s arm –
Reached up.
Gerard frowned in confusion.
“He has to go!!” Steve was saying, trying to physically pull Frank away. “Everything’s been wrong since he got here!!”
“Oh come on, that’s a bit harsh,” Gerard said.
Steve stared at him incredulously. “Do you really not get what you’re doing wrong?!”
“I’ve haven’t done anything!!” Gerard protested.
OK, so he’d lied about his age but what-the-fuck-ever, apparently everyone in Neverland was already aware of that.
“Yeah, come on Steve, leave off Gee,” Frank said with a warning tone in his voice.
Steve stared at Frank. “You really don’t get it, do you? You don’t get what he’s doing to you, do you?”
Frank shot a confused look at Gerard. “He’s not done –”
“Frank, when did you have armpit hair?!” Steven suddenly screamed. “Or leg hair?! And when did your voice get deeper?!”
And that was it. It was the thing that Gerard’s subconscious had been trying to tell him.
Frank quickly lifted his own arm to check and then looked horrified.
“What’s – what’s happening to me?!” he asked.
“You’re growing up, that’s what!!” Steve said angrily. “You want to be old enough to be with him, so it’s happening!!”
There was a horrified silence. Frank’s eyes met Gerard’s, wide and round and they both realised it was true.
“No it’s not!!” Frank cried. “I never want to grow up!!”
He stamped his foot and this time, Gerard saw the change. He saw how Frank’s face suddenly softened with childhood, how he genuinely shrank back down back to a child’s size.
“I never want to grow up!!” Frank repeated, his voice high. “And you can’t make me!!”
And before anyone could say anything else, Frank had turned around and taken off at a run, disappearing above the trees.
“Frank!!” Gerard yelled, starting to run after him.
“What are you doing?!” Steve asked. “Haven’t you spoilt things enough?!”
Gerard stopped and said the only response that seemed appropriate to give such a small child.
“Fuck off,” he snapped, and then continued into the woods to chase after Frank.
~*~*~
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Frank was sitting on one of the larger roots of the Hangman’s Tree when Gerard caught up with him. He looked up at Gerard as Gerard approached, his face young and innocent.
There was an awkward silence.
“Soo...” Gerard said, swinging his arms. “That was weird.”
“What was weird?” Frank asked, blinking.
“You know, the whole thing back there? With the whole...” he trailed off as he saw the expression on Frank’s face and decided to quickly change the subject.
“There’s a lot of names carved here,” he said conversationally.
Frank just shrugged.
Gerard took a step closer, his fingers tracing over some of the names on the tree.
Jane... Slightly... Sally... Tootles... Michael... John... Wendy...
“Wendy was real??” he asked in disbelief.
Frank looked at the names under Gerard’s fingers.
“Probably,” he shrugged. “I don’t really remember.”
“What do you mean, you don’t remember? Wendy Moira Angela Darling – even I know who she was!!” Gerard spluttered.
“There’s been a lot of kids here,” Frank said in a careless tone. “I don’t really remember them individually.”
Gerard looked at the names carved up the tree trunk. There must have been hundreds, maybe even thousands...
“You must have given a lot of panpipes out over the years,” Gerard said, trying to keep the jealousy out his voice. It was stupid of him to think that he’d been special.
Frank shrugged again. “Nope. Just you.”
But that was the thing about Frank. Gerard never really knew when he was lying or not.
“I don’t believe that I took a higher priority over Wendy,” Gerard said.
“I told you – I don’t really remember the individual children,” Frank explained. “There’s been so many... so many friends, so many battles, so many adventures, so many who never–” He abruptly broke off, shooting up into the sky.
“Frank!” Gerard called.
Frank settled himself on the highest branch, hugging his knees tightly to his chest.
“Frank! Come down!”
Frank didn’t reply.
“Frank?” Gerard tried again. “Don’t make me come up there! I can’t climb trees for shit!”
He waited a few seconds for a response. When he didn’t get one, he rolled his eyes, let out a sigh and muttered to himself, “OK, let’s do this.” He put his hands on the lowest branch and hoisted himself up. Frank finally paid some attention to him, looking down, but he made no attempt to move.
It was a lot easier than climbing the tree at home, Gerard noted. The branches were thicker and sturdier, not to mention worn flat in several places, probably from years of children playing. They were also a lot closer together and easier to reach from one to the next, and in what felt like no time at all, he was pulling himself up onto Frank’s branch, straddling it and letting his legs dangle down.
And then he made the mistake of looking down at his feet.
“Oh fuck, this is a lot higher than I thought.”
Frank laughed but he was still hugging himself tightly.
“Frank? What’s wrong?” Gerard asked. He wanted to reach out, to offer some kind of comforting touch, but he didn’t want to scare Frank away. It felt like Frank was a wild bird, small and terrified, and that the slightest sudden movement would spook him into flying away. “Frank?”
“Why are you here?” Frank asked in a small voice.
“Because I’m worried about you!”
Frank shook his head. “No, not like that. I mean, why are you here. In Neverland. With me. Why did you come back?”
“You came back for me, remember?” Gerard said gently, shuffling forward as much as he dared.
“I wanted to though,” Frank said. His eyes were dark and he was staring at the ground. “But none of the others... why did I remember you? I don’t remember the others. They all grew up and left me and I forgot them and it was fine but I remembered you, I couldn’t get your stupid face out my head and I kept thinking about you after we fought and all the games we played and when I knew time had passed, I knew you’d probably changed and forgotten me like all the others but then you called me back and –”
“Frank.” Gerard said his name firmly, reaching out hesitantly and when Frank made no attempt to flee, he let his hand rest on Frank’s wrist. Frank jumped at the contact, finally looking up and meeting Gerard’s gaze. “You’re rambling.”
“You’re special,” Frank said, as if he hadn’t heard Gerard speak. “That’s got to be it. That’s why I remembered you and not the others, and why you came back. You’re meant to be here with me! You’re meant to never grow up and stay here with me!”
Frank suddenly moved so quickly that his hands were a blur, but then the next thing Gerard knew, Frank had thrown his arms around Gerard, hugging him tightly and pressing his face into Gerard’s hair. It was as if his own body had no control over itself, as Gerard’s arms were automatically wrapping around Frank’s tiny body and holding him close, never wanting to let go. Gerard had always loved hugging, loved being held, the feeling of just being physically close to another human. He could stay here.
“You’re meant to be here,” Frank said. “It’s fate!”
He was meant to be with Frank. As soon as the thought occurred to him, he realised how much he wanted it to be true. Gerard shut his eyes against the wave of guilt twisting through his insides.
“Frank... I have to tell you something.” He took a deep breath and reluctantly pulled back from the hug. “It’s about why you were... well, you know. Doing that thing you don’t want to do.”
Frank’s face was practically glowing with excitement in the moonlight. He gently stroked his hands down the sides of Gerard’s face, letting them tangle in his hair. “What? Is it about why it took you so long to call me? It doesn’t matter! You’re here now!”
“Yeah but Frank, I’m not – I’m old, Frank. I’m older than you think.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re here now,” Frank said again, and suddenly, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Gerard’s.
It was the most tender, sweet kiss Gerard had ever experienced and barely lasted long enough for his brain to register what had happened before it was over. Frank barely moved away though, instead pressing his forehead to Gerard’s.
“Frank –” Gerard whispered in a broken voice, keeping his eyes closed.
“I don’t want to be a grown up,” Frank said quietly, his breath hot against Gerard’s face. “But... if it makes you stay, I could be a little bit older. I want to good enough for you, Gee.”
“You already are,” Gerard managed to reply, taking deep, painful breaths. “But –”
“No buts,” Frank said, and then he was kissing Gerard again, cupping his face in his hands. It was so gentle, so chaste, so innocent -
Gerard pulled back, his breath escaping from his lips like a sob.
“I can’t Frank – I’m so sorry. I can’t – you don’t understand –”
But it was enough. Frank was suddenly gone and if it hadn’t been for the sudden rush of wind that rustled through Gerard’s hair or the faint shadow that disappeared into the depths of the forest, Gerard would have questioned if he’d even been there to begin with.
~*~*~
“Mikey? I fucked up.”
Gerard didn’t even bother with niceties when Mikey answered the phone. He’d turned his phone off to save the battery after the last time he’d called his brother (and also to stop his Mom from calling and accidentally having one of the Lost Boys pick up instead), promising to save it for only emergencies.
Gerard was pretty sure this counted as an emergency.
“Nothing new there,” Mikey automatically replied and then – “OK but seriously. What happened?”
“I think I made Peter Pan grow up.”
There was a pause. In the background, Gerard could hear the background bustle of wherever Mikey was.
“Oh my God, Gerard, you didn’t.” Mikey sounded disgusted.
“What? NO! Not in that way!! We just kissed!!”
“You kissed him?!” The waves of disapproval were rolling out the phone.
“In my defence, he kissed me!” Before Mikey could say anything, Gerard was wailing out “Mikey, I don’t get it! He’s all ‘oh hey Gee, come for a ride on a shooting star’ and then he’s handing out thimbles and all touchy-feely-huggy and then suddenly Steve’s all ‘you’re growing up to be with him’ and Frank’s then all ‘Ahhh no!!’ and he flies off and I can’t find him now and I have to fight Bert tomorrow and I –”
“Wait a minute, slow down, you’re not making any sense,” Mikey said. “Who the fuck is Steve?”
“He’s one of the Lost Boys,” Gerard said quickly. “But that’s not the point! Mikey, am I that repulsive?! Why doesn’t anyone want to be with me?!?”
He sank down on a nearby rock, utterly depressed.
“I mean, seriously Mikey, what’s wrong with me?! Am I –”
“Gerard, shut up.”
Gerard did.
“Frank is freaking out because he’s the Boy Who Never Grew Up and he’s suddenly growing up and all you can do is whinge about how nobody loves you!” Mikey said. He sounded noticeably angry, which meant that he was in the danger-zones of being fucking furious. Gerard was suddenly glad of the huge distance between them. “Do you even know how bad things are back here?! Mom’s heartbroken, she thinks you’ve gone back to Bert and you’re going to start drinking and using again -”
“I’m not!” Gerard said and for the first time in ages, he realised he meant it. He pushed that revelation to the back of his mind. “Anyway, what the fuck was I supposed to say?! I’ve been waiting for this stupid battle!”
“Well, why haven’t you tried to get Pete back before?”
“... what? Don’t be stupid, Bert said we had to wait -”
“You’re seriously going with that? What the fuck have you been doing for the past three days?!”
Gerard was about to tell him and then he realised. Treasure hunts. Flying. Playing games. Granted, he was drawing again but in the grand scheme of all his problems, he’d been doing exactly the same as he always did. Instead of facing them head on, he was running away from them.
No wonder Frank did go for him, he thought glumly. He was still mentally as selfish and stupid as a kid.
“Listen. Gerard. Go and get Pete back and then come the fuck back home,” Mikey said, sounding a lot more like his usual blank self. “I don’t trust Frank and you shouldn’t stay in Neverland too long.”
Gerard blinked. “Why don’t you trust Frank?”
“I’ve been doing some research,” Mikey said. Gerard could picture him pushing his glasses up his nose as he spoke and suddenly, fuck, he missed his little brother. “I went into that bookshop over on fourth, you know the one run by the Italian family that’s been there years? The guy who owns it’s in one of the bands I promote a bit so he gave me a discount... Anyway, they’ve got a whole section devoted to classical children’s literature like Alice in Wonderland and all. So I went in and asked for all their stuff on Peter Pan and the mythology behind him and they had loads of stuff. There’s a lot of stuff about the sinister side of Peter Pan, like how the whole point of the story is that children are innocent because they’re actually heartless and cruel. And there’s all this other stuff too, like how it’s mentioned in the original book how casually he kills the Lost Boys when he thinks they’re growing up or the fact that he steals children away from their mothers with promises of playing forever and never having to grow up -”
“That’s just the book though,” Gerard pointed out. “I’ve got the reality here.”
A nasty thought occurred to him as he said this though. Frank hadn’t been as affectionate over the past few days as he had been today. He’d even admitted he was trying to convince Gerard to stay in Neverland. And all those names carved into the Hangman’s Tree, all those toys in the Cave of Forgotten Children...
“Mikey, I’m an idiot,” Gerard said, screwing his eyes up.
“I know,” Mikey said comfortingly. “Listen to me. Go get Pete back. Now. Storm that pirate ship and do whatever you can to get Bert to give him back.”
There was a loud noise in the background of Mikey’s end.
“Where are you?” Gerard asked.
“Soundcheck. I’m the promoter at a local gig,” Mikey said. “Remember? You were supposed to come along to this one before... well.”
“Oh yeah... that one...”
“Gerard? Don’t go all self-righteously miserable on me,” Mikey said suddenly.
“I’ve just been had by a fucking child. It’s hard not to be anything else.”
Mikey sighed. “Look, I wasn’t say Frank was bad. He probably does genuinely like you but... just be wary, OK?”
“OK.”
“And come home, OK?”
“OK.”
“Soon, OK?”
Gerard smiled despite himself. “Soon. Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Gotta go, bye,” Mikey said and then hung up with his usual brusqueness.
For a few seconds, Gerard held the phone to his ear, trying to commit as much as he could about Mikey to memory. He’d barely thought once about his family back home while he’d been here. If Frank hadn’t run off, he probably wouldn’t have even called his brother.
Neverland made you forget, he realised. That had to be it. He thought about the Lost Boys, so young and yet not one of them seemed even the slightest bit homesick for their mom’s. Heck, even Gerard didn’t miss his as much as he knew he should. And he knew he hadn’t spared a single thought for Pete since he’d last seen him.
Pete, a fucking child, being held prisoner on a pirate ship for three days because Gerard had been too busy playing.
He had to get Pete back. He had to go home.
He stood up, determination rushing through him, and at that exact moment, Tinkerbell suddenly flew out from behind a tree. She flew directly over to him, stopping inches from his face.
“Hey, Tinkerbell!” Gerard said, surprised. “Hey, where have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages –”
She blew a handful of pixie dust into Gerard’s face. He coughed, spluttered – and then promptly crashed backwards, landing heavily on the ground, fast asleep.
Tinkerbell, with her hands on her hips, nodded, satisfied... and then, from out the jungle behind her, stepped Captain Hook.
While Gerard had been angsting on the phone to his brother, several things had been happening. Lead by Tinkerbell, Captain Hook and his pirates had raided the Hangman’s Tree and captured all the Lost Boys.
“Tell me where Gerard is!!” he yelled, pushing his hook into Lyn-Z’s cheek menacingly.
“We’re never telling you!” she said and stuck her tongue out at him.
“Yeah,” Ray piped up from somewhere from inside the sack he’d been shoved in. ”You’re old, ugly and mean!!”
Even Steve stayed silent as he was tied up. He would later say that it was because he’d always secretly respected Gerard but at the time, the truth was simply that he was too terrified to speak.
With the Lost Boys captured, there was nothing else to do but wait for Frank’s return, which was sooner than expected.
Momentarily, Hook was thrown by how miserable his old foe looked. He’d never seen a child with such an adult heartbroken expression on his face. He offered up no resistance when he saw the hideout was filled with pirates either. Instead, he merely put up his hands and let himself be weighted and bound.
In fact, during his capture, the only words he spoke were “again, Tinkerbell?” at his fairy. She would have felt guilt if she’d had the capacity but at the time, she was still too angry at Gerard to be anything else; like Steve, she’d been monitoring the changes in Frank.
As Gerard Way lay unconscious on the ground, Captain Hook took his hat off and crouched down next to him. He tenderly stroked his hand down the side of Gerard’s face and brushed some of the hair out his face, as a lover would do.
It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for the next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles have wandered during the day. Thoughts are like objects; they can be stored within memory chests within our heads, which our mothers will go through and sort for us while we sleep.
Unfortunately, Hook had been raised a single child by his mother on her own, who in turn, had taught him.
He didn’t spend too long rooting around in Gerard’s memories. Upon entering, he found himself in a dark, cramped room that was stuffed from floor to ceiling with various memories and thoughts in no particular order. The older ones were tattered and fraying at the edges and the most recent ones of Neverland seemed to shine brightly, more vivid in Technicolor than any of the others.
But then Hook noticed there were many - many memories that were carelessly discarded on the floor, crumpled up in the corners, hidden under piles and stacks of others. These memories were different to the old ones from childhood and the bright lights of Neverland; they were dark, their edges undefined, their images smudged and blurred and they seemed to made of something different to the other memories; they were not old parchment paper, thick leather or artists canvas, or anything that seemed to be particularly solid. They seemed to be closer to a fine lace netting, translucent and delicate, and when Hook picked one up, it shimmered and moulded against his hand and hook, feeling more like a thick liquid than anything else.
Captain Hook held the random memory up to his eye and instantly, he saw.
For a split second, he was horrified. This – this was too much. What had this man done to himself? Such self-loathing, such a desperate act...
But then the horror was replaced with glee. The things this man had done. Gerard Way was no child, and most definitely not an innocent. He should not have been here. Peter Pan had made the law himself; upon his rule, no adults were to enter Neverland... and here was one that Pan had brought in himself!!
Gerard moaned in his sleep, discomforted.
Satisfied, he put down the memory.
“You shouldn’t have left me, Gee,” he said softly. His own face shimmered up at him from various memories. “You’re mine. I’ll find a way to keep you here.”
Part Five