Fic: Somewhere In Neverland - Part Five

[chimneythunder]

“ However, as we are here we may as well stay and look on. That is all we are, lookers-on. Nobody really wants us. So let us watch and say jaggy things, in the hope that some of them will hurt.”
- J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan.


When Gerard woke up, his head was pounding. It was like the world’s worst hangover and comedown all at once.

“Gerard? Please, wake up!!”

“Come on Gee, get up!! We need you!!”

He could hear the Lost Boys calling out to him, children’s voices that sounded all too believably scared.

“Gerard!! Get up, you lazy ass!!”

Gerard frowned. That one sounded like Pete?

He opened one eye and then the other. He was unmistakably in the hold of the pirate ship in a cell all to himself. He pushed himself up off the floor, worn wood and straw crackling under his fingertips.

“What happened?” he asked, pressing a hand to his head to try and stop it from spinning. He felt like his brain was trying to take flight through the top of his skull.

“Captain Hook happened,” came Lyn-Z’s voice, sounding so much smaller and shakier than usual.

One hand still clutching his head, his free one groped for the bars of the cell door, using it to pull himself up into a standing position. Leaning against it, he finally looked out at the cell that was across the hold from his; The Lost Boys all stared at him with wide, terrified eyes.

“You guys OK?” he asked. “They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

The Lost Boys all shook their heads.

“We’re fine,” Ray said. “Just a bit –”

“Yeah, I get it,” Gerard said, cutting him off. “It’s going to be OK, I’m awake now.”

“Fat chance!!” came a sulky voice from behind the Lost Boys that was unmistakably –

“Pete?” Gerard asked.

“Over here!”

In a separate cell to the Lost Boys, in the darker corner of the room, Gerard suddenly saw Pete. His arms were folded and he was glaring at Gerard.

“You OK, Pete?” Gerard asked. “They haven’t –”

“Oh, I’ve been having a great time!!” Pete said sarcastically. “I’ve been stuck here for three days!! Where the hell have you been, you fat lummox!??”

Guilt twisted at Gerard’s insides. “Yeah, sorry about that,” he said. “But... they’ve been feeding you, right?”

“Of course they have!” Pete snorted, kicking at an empty plate next to him in his cell. “And they’ve been coming down and talking to me and telling me stories about being a pirate and then one of them tried to teach me to gam-ble and I told him I didn’t want to because that’s a crime and only stupid grown-ups like you do it and it’s like being an add-ict and if I did it, I’d end up like you!!”

“Wow, that’s terrible,” Gerard said, barely listening. Pete was fine. “Does anyone know what happened to Frank?!”

“He’s up on deck,” Kitty said. “I overheard some of the pirates talking as they brought you in; they’ve tied him to the mast to stop him from flying away but the plan is to make us all walk the plank.”

“Of course it is,” Gerard muttered, screwing his eyes up. The swimming sensation in his head was rapidly fading, much to his relief. “Pirates, always known for originality.”

“Gerard? What are we going to do?” Jimmy asked.

“Yeah, come on Gerard, make yourself useful and get us out of here!” Steve added.

Gerard opened his eyes and looked at the Lost Boys, who were all staring at him expectantly. For some reason, in the absence of Frank, they’d designated him as the leader.

“I’m – I’m thinking!” Gerard said, stepping back from the cell door and looking around his prison. There had to be something in there that he could use to pick the lock... or maybe he could try and break the door down? There was a small portal window with no glass or bars in it but Gerard knew immediately that he’d barely manage to get his head through it, let alone the rest of him. He gripped the metal door with both hands and shook it, testing for weakness.

“Well, think faster!!” Steve said.

“Shh!!” Lyn-Z suddenly hissed. “Someone’s coming!!”

There were footsteps above their heads and Gerard only just had time to let go before the trapdoor at the far end of the hold was thrown open and a pair of legs appeared on the stairs.

“Ah, you’re awake!” said Captain Hook, stepping lightly down the stairs. Tinkerbell followed behind him, the sounds of happy bells tinkling faintly. “Good, I was wondering if Miss Bell here had overdone the fairy dust – can’t have you overdosing again, can we?!”

Gerard’s stomach clenched as one of the Lost Boys gasped, although he didn’t know which one. He couldn’t bring himself to look at them to see who it was, but he could feel their stares, either horrified or curious – he didn’t know and didn’t want to.

“Low blow, Bert,” he said through gritted teeth. “Especially in front of them.”

Bert shrugged, stepping over to Gerard’s cell door and stopping in front of it.

“I’m not the one who did it,” he said bluntly. “But hey, if you hadn’t done that then circumstances wouldn’t have led you here, so maybe it wasn’t as bad as you think.”

Gerard stared at him incredulously.

“As bad?! The guy who found me passed out in the alleyway decided to steal my wallet before he called an ambulance on my phone, and then took that too! As far as low-points go, that’s pretty much up there in the top three!”

The captain shrugged again and pulled out a long, rusty key from his pocket, balancing it between the tip of his hook and his fingers.

“Not my problem,” he said, and then, in a surprising gesture, unlocked Gerard’s cell door. He pulled it back and stepped into the cell and suddenly, the cell felt just that little bit too small. Gerard automatically stepped back but found the smooth wood of the ship walls against his back.

“Anyway,” Captain Hook said, stepping forward. “You’re here now.”

“That I am,” Gerard said. He was cornered, completely trapped and his heart was pounding frantically against his ribs. He was an addict and here was his fix he so desperately wanted.

“And what, pray do tell, are you planning to do while you’re here?”

Gerard meant to say that he was going to storm the ship and take back Pete, save Frank and the Lost Boys and get the fuck out this place. Instead, what came out was –

“I wanted to see you.”

Captain Hook moved closer into Gerard’s personal space. Even in the dark, Gerard still knew every line, blemish of Bert’s face. He knew how his mouth was slightly lopsided. He knew how his nostrils flaired whenever he was angry.

“Yes, I know,” he said, taking another step towards Gerard. He was shorter than Gerard – he always had been – so he had to look up slightly to meet his eyes, but the hypnotic hold was still there. “Your kind always does.”

“My – my kind?”

“Yes,” Captain Hook purred, moving around to whisper in Gerard’s ear. “The ones who are just that little bit too grown up.”

“I’m not –”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It happens more often than you think,” he continued, his stubble grazing against Gerard’s chin and his breath hot in his ear. “Frank is just so rubbish at picking playmates. After you, he could never seem to find as many to stay. Some would demand to go home and when they found out that they couldn’t...”

“Why not?”

Captain Hook took a step to the side, carefully circling Gerard as he spoke. “It’s the only way out of Neverland, Gerard. You have to fly. And of course, once you reach a certain age, once you lose a certain innocence, there’s no amount of pixie dust and happy thoughts that’ll lift you off the ground.”

Gerard felt his heart sink.

“So... it doesn’t matter what happens,” he said, staring at the floor. “With the battle. Even if I win – Pete can’t go home.”

“Oh no,he can... but you can’t. Only children can fly, Gerard.”

A strange sort of numbness had washed over Gerard. He was trapped here. He’d never see Mikey again, or his Mom –

Oh God, his Mom. She’d think he’d gone back to all his old ways. And eventually, his phone battery would die and he’d lose all contact with Mikey and then she’d just spend the rest of her life worrying about him, fearing the worst. He’d already done it to her before. Before he’d broken up with Bert, he hadn’t spoken to her for about three years. He’d wanted to disappear from life, so he’d just... done it. He’d let the city swallow him up and became a shadow, slipping into the cracks of New York and becoming something that was barely there...

And his Mom would never know.

“There there, Gee,” Bert said, placing a comforting hand on Gerard’s shoulder.

Gerard suddenly realised his cheeks were wet. What the fuck Gerard, he thought, way to behave with dignity there - told he’s never going home and he starts bawling like a child.

Without thinking, he clasped Bert’s hand in his own. He didn’t pull away, instead, he laced his fingers through Gerard’s and gave his hand a squeeze. It was human contact, that was the thing that Gerard really missed so much. He closed his eyes and sniffed.

“Frank never told you that little detail, did he?”

Gerard shook his head. No, he hadn’t.

But in all honesty, Gerard should have known better. He was in a land that he had no business being in. It never could have ended well.

“I have a proposition for you, Gerard,” Bert said, leaning in so only Gerard could hear him. “You don’t have to decide now, but just think on it... As you’re an adult, I could give you a home here. If you chose to stay with me, I’ll not only ensure that Pete gets home, but I’ll make you part of the crew. You can live on the ship forever... with me. As mine.”

Gerard’s heart stuttered in his chest. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or not.

“Think on it,” he said. He turned to leave, slamming Gerard’s cell door shut behind him and locking it. Tinkerbell smirked.

“Oh, by the way,” Captain Hook said, turning to face the fairy. “I don’t believe in fairies.”

There was a collective gasp from around the entire hold and Gerard cried out “NO!” but it was too late – Tinkerbell’s light immediately went out and she dropped out the air, landing on the floor outside Gerard’s cell. With a final nod, Captain Hook turned around and swept out the hold.

Gerard dropped to his knees and reached out through the gaps in the bars for Tinkerbell and picking her up carefully with one hand. He sat back, cradling her in his hand but he already knew it was too late. Her body was cold and had turned to stone.

“Tink?” Ray whispered. “Is she -?”

Gerard looked up at the Lost Boys. Ray was openly crying while the rest of them looked like they were trying their damn hardest not to. Even Pete looked completely shocked. Gerard turned his attention back down at the tiny body in his hands. He’d never appreciated just how fragile she was; he felt like he was holding the most delicate of paper dolls in his hand.

His eyes were burning as he blinked back tears. He’d never liked the fairy but he’d never wanted her dead either! There had to be something he could do –

Oh. There was.

“I do believe in fairies, I do, I do,” he whispered into his hands. “I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.”

The Lost Boys realised what he was doing and started clapping their hands, chanting along with him.

“Come on Tink,” Gerard whispered. “You’re still in there, I know you are.”

“It’s not enough!” Ray said tearfully. “There’s not enough people!!”

He was right, of course. They needed more people, but Gerard had no idea where he was going to find any more children. He didn’t know how to do that whole “children of the world, clap your hands if you believe in fairies” thing (he suspected you needed some kind of magical ability to do that) and there weren’t any more kids on Neverland -

But what about adults?

Something clicked in Gerard’s mind.

Surely an adult’s belief would be more powerful? Children believed in magic and fairies because they were too young to know any better but for an adult to believe, even after knowing about science, religion, wars and taxes, even after experiencing real-life evils... surely that had to be worth twice a child’s belief?

“I’ve got it!” he cried excitedly. “Lost Boys, keep clapping!!”

Carefully, he shifted Tinkerbell so that he was holding her in one hand and used his other one to get his phone out his pocket.

It took Mikey longer than usual to answer. When he finally picked up, Gerard wasted no time with pre-chatter or explaining the situation and instead launched straight into “Mikey, clap your hands if you believe in fairies!!”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Mikey said.

“Mikey, just do it!!”

Mikey sighed. “Hold on – ”

There was a pause as he readjusted the phone, cradling it between his shoulder and cheek, and then over the background noise, Gerard heard him clapping his hands.

“I do believe in fairies, I do, I do,” he said flatly. “I do believe in fairies, I do, I – no, I’m just on the phone to my brother. Oh, idea. Gerard, hold on two seconds.”

“Mikey?!” Gerard asked. He was holding the phone so tightly to his face that it was leaving imprints in his skin. “Mikey?! What are you doing?!”

Wherever Mikey was, it was noisy. There was suddenly the roar of a crowd and then a voice so loud it was completely distorted and muffled down the phone, and then –

An audience clapping. The voices of thousands all saying the same thing; I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.

“Gee?!” Mikey yelled over the din. “Can you hear that?!”

Gerard looked at Tinkerbell’s motionless figure in his hand. Her wings twitched weakly.

“It’s working!” Gerard screamed excitedly. “Keep going!! I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!!”

The Lost Boys joined in, following his cue. In his hands, he could feel Tinkerbell’s stone body warming up as her colour rapidly returned. Gerard could suddenly feel it coursing through him, all the faith, belief and trust, as if he were the siphon for it all to gather at and flow through, through his skin to his heart, mixing in his blood as it pumped around his body, all focusing and rushing down his arm to that one tiny point in the palm of his hand.

“I do believe in fairies, I motherfucking do!!” Gerard said with the roar in his ear, meaning it and believing it to be truer than everything else. He was a world-weary cynical adult who knew many things not to be true but this – the belief in dreams, in innocence, in magic – he was certain about in the moment. It was real. It always had been.

It was the spark that ignited the dynamite. In his hand, there was an explosion of hot golden light as Tinkerbell burst into life, shooting straight up into the air with a sparkling trail of pixie dust behind her as her light glowed bigger and brighter than ever. Gerard let out a triumphant crow that Frank would have been proud of as the Lost Boys and Pete cheered loudly.

“Gerard?!” Mikey’s tinny voice brought Gerard’s attention back to his phone. “Did it work?! What happened?!”

“She’s OK!” Gerard said, unable to keep the relief and happiness out his voice. He watched as Tinkerbell zipped through the air around the Lost Boys, darting between the bars of their cells and kissing them all in thanks. “Mikey, what did you do?”

“Hold on –” There was a pause, then Gerard heard the muffled voice though what he suddenly realised must have been a PA system, and then there was a tremendous cheer. “OK, I’m back.”

“I’ll say it again – what the fuck did you do?! Where are you?!”

“I’m the promoter for that gig tonight, remember? Anyway, I got the lead singer from Leathermouth to get the audience to say it – I said you were doing some kind of art-visual-audio thing.”

Gerard paused. He vaguely recognised the name. Mikey had done a few shows with them before. “Wait, isn’t Leat- aren’t they... didn’t you say they were like... hardcore-metal-screamo?”

“Yeah,” Mikey said, sounding amused. “There’s only about 80 people here but they’re loud.”

Oh... so much for thousands. But still, it had worked (although Gerard never wanted to be in the room when those 80 metal-heads discovered they’d inadvertently outed themselves as believers of fairies).

“Thanks Mikes, you’re a lifesaver. Literally. Gotta go!” Gerard said quickly. No time for chit-chat, Frank was still in danger. He paused before hanging up. “Love you Mikey.”

He disconnected the call before Mikey could reply and chucked his phone out the porthole, hearing it land in the sea below with a small splash. If something happened to him, he couldn’t risk letting his phone – a link to the real world outside of Neverland - fall into the pirate captain’s hands, and he especially couldn’t risk Bert finding a way back to Gerard’s life and the people in it. His Mom and Mikey had lived on the fringes of the darkness of Gerard’s life and depression because of contact with him – he couldn’t let the darkness and past have a way of reaching out and pulling them in.

Tinkerbell descended gracefully before him, hovering at eye-level. She smiled at him.

“Hey Tinkerbell,” Gerard said, banishing the gloomy thoughts to the back of his mind. “Are we friends now?”

With a nod, she flew forward and kicked him in the nose. As she was so small, she didn’t do any real damage but it was hard enough to make his eyes water.

“Ouch!!”

Tinkerbell was laughing so hard she nearly fell out the air. Rubbing his nose, Gerard resigned himself to the fact that pixie would never like him.

“OK,” he said, wiping the fairy dust off his hands onto his jeans. “Tinkerbell, can you get these cell doors open for us?”

With another nod and a small salute that was very decidedly un-military, Tinkerbell quickly flew back through the bars and threw handfuls of pixie dust at the locks. They automatically clicked unlocked and the doors swung open. The Lost Boys immediately swarmed around Gerard, staring up at him expectantly with Pete trailing behind them in a sulk.

“What’s the plan, Gerard?” Lyn-Z asked, drawing her sword.

“We need to rescue Frank,” Ray said, and the others all nodded in agreement. “And someone’s got to fight Hook.”

As the Lost Boys all gave Gerard very obvious looks, Pete burst out laughing.

“Him?!” he asked, pointing at Gerard incredulously. “You’re letting him be the leader?! He’s useless and fat!”

“Hey, shut it, dick breath!” Steve said unexpectedly. Perhaps it was only the ‘fat’ comment that had provoked him but Gerard still felt a twinge of fondness towards Steve.

“Yeah, Gerard’s awesome!” Kitty added as Jimmy nodded in agreement.

“But he’s so old.” Pete winkled his nose in disgust.

“Keep on like that and you’ll never get to be that age,” Lyn-Z said, taking a step towards Pete and raising her sword menacingly.

Gerard couldn’t hold back the bark of laughter. “OK guys, calm down, play nice,” he said.

“Who is this pee-head anyway?!” Jimmy asked with a thumb jab in Pete’s direction.

“This is Pete. Lost Boys - Pete, Pete - Lost Boys,” Gerard said quickly as introduction. “Now, to get to Frank –”

“Wait, this is Pete?!” Lyn-Z looked horrified, as did the other Lost Boys. “This is the kid you came here to get back?!”

“Yeah,” Gerard admitted.

“And it took you long enough!!” Pete said angrily. “I shouldn’t even be here, it’s all his stupid fault! Captain Hook wasn’t even after me, he wanted him anyway and -”

He ranted on with three days worth of pent-up anger finally exploding out. Even Steve looked a little confused.

“Seriously,” he said to Gerard over Pete’s rant. “Are you sure it was this kid?”

“Is he your brother or something?” Ray asked.

“Nope.” Gerard shrugged. “I guess... it was the right thing to do, you know? You’d have done the same thing.”

“No I wouldn’t,” Lyn-Z said automatically, narrowing her eyes at Pete. “Not for him.”

“Yeah, no,” Steve said as Kitty nodded in agreement.

“Me neither,” she said.

“I wouldn’t,” Jimmy said.

“No way!” Ray said.

Even Tinkerbell shook her head.

Pete had finally stopped ranting and stared at Lost Boys.

“I hate you all,” he said. “You’re nothing like the stories, this sucks! Why are you dressed so stupidly anyway?! I want to go home, now!!”

Gerard ignored him and rolled his eyes. “OK well, morality discussions aside, we still need to save Frank. We’re all OK with that plan, right?”

“Yeah!” The Lost Boys all gave a unanimous cheer.

“Who the hell is Frank?” Pete muttered to no one in particular.

“OK, Lyn-Z, Ray – you’re with me,” Gerard said, pointing to each of the Lost Boys. “Tink, Kitty, Steve, Jimmy – you’re our distraction. Plan is fight pirates, set Frank free and don’t get killed. Sound good?”

“We will never die!!” Jimmy said with a cocky laugh.

“Yeah, we’re too awesome!” Kitty added, hip-checking Gerard.

Gerard smiled. He really liked these kids.

“OK, everybody ready? File out –”

“What about me!?” Pete demanded, stamping on Gerard’s foot.

Gerard thought about it. Tinkerbell flew down and landed on his shoulder, giving him an expectant look. He nodded to her.

With a wicked grin, she beelined straight at Pete and blew a handful of pixie dust in his face. Coughing and spluttering, he swatted at his face as his feet started lift off the ground – and Gerard seized the opportunity to quickly shove him back in his cell. It locked shut with a satisfying click.

“Hey!!” Pete yelled, grabbing the bars as he floated horizontally five foot off the floor in the middle of his cell. “That’s not fair!!”

“Sorry Pete,” Gerard said with a shrug. He tried to sound sincere. “Can’t risk you getting hurt or recaptured.”

“You horrible, mean, stupid, fat BASTARD!!” Pete screamed. His short, podgy arms lunged through the bars, futilely trying to attack Gerard. “I want to fight, I want an adventure!! It’s not fair, I’m totally telling my Mom about this and –”

He was still going on as they left the hold and crept up the stairs. Crouching below the trapdoor, Gerard pressed his finger to his lips for silence. Above them, it sounded like something was already going down with the pirates, judging from the roars and sounds of swords clashing. He held up his fingers silently anyway as a countdown.

Three... two... one... go!

He pushed the trapdoor open and with a battle cry, the Lost Boys and Tinkerbell all charged out with Ray, Lyn-Z and Gerard holding back as he pulled the trapdoor back down.

“Wait for it,” Gerard said.

“Why wouldn’t you let Pete fight?” Ray asked. “I’m not complaining, I didn’t really like him much, but –”

“Yeah, are you really that worried about him?” Lyn-Z asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nah,” Gerard said. “That was revenge for my copy of Doom Patrol.”

Lyn-Z and Ray both laughed (although Gerard doubted they actually knew what Doom Patrol was).

“I thought you were all ‘do the right thing’?” she asked.

“I am,” Gerard replied. “Never said I was a nice person though.”

She smiled but then it faltered and suddenly, she threw her arms around him. She only came up to his hip, pressing her face into his side.

“Gerard, don’t go!” she said, looking up at him with imploring eyes. “You can’t! We want you here!”

“Come on Lyn-Z, don’t be like that,” Gerard said, patting her on the head. Her dark hair was a tangled, soft mess.

He gave her a brief one-armed hug. He was really going to miss her, he suddenly realised. And Ray and Kitty, and even Steve and Jimmy and Tinkerbell... and of course Frank.

“Help me win this, OK?” he said. “Let’s make it the best battle yet.”

She let go of him and took a step back. All her previous vulnerability was instantly gone. She set her jaw with a determined look and nodded.

“OK, let’s do this,” she said. “Ray?”

Ray was bouncing on his toes excitedly.

“I’m ready!!” he said happily. “I never get to be in the rescue team! I’m always the diversion!”

“OK!” Gerard gave them both a reassuring nod, placing his hand back on the trapdoor above them. “Hey! Ho! Let’s go!”

With all his strength, he threw the door open.

The battle was already in full-swing on deck. Despite being significantly outnumbered, the Lost Boys were putting up a very good fight, judging from the number of slayed pirates that already covered the deck. That said, on closer inspection, Gerard realised that most of the pirates seemed to be fighting... other pirates?

“It’s a mutiny!” Lyn-Z said, awed.

“A what?!” Gerard asked.

“It happens a lot more than you think,” Ray explained.

“But why are they fighting each other?!” Gerard asked, completely confused. In the midst of the battle, the arrival of three new people on deck had gone completely unnoticed.

“So many pirates, so little space,” Lyn-Z said with a shrug. “And pirates don’t really like anything except killing and treasure.”

“And the more pirates on the ship, the less treasure they get,” Ray added.

“Treasure?” A nearby pirate looked at Ray, his hands still closed tightly around the neck of the other pirate he’d just killed.

“Um...” Ray said.

“Treasure!” the pirate yelled, dropping the dead one and charging straight at Ray with a loud “GRAAAH!!!” Ray did what any other child in his position would have done when a blood-thirsty pirate started chasing them, and ran away screaming.

“Forget him, he’ll be fine!” Lyn-Z yelled, whacking Gerard in the stomach with the flat edge of her sword when he made to follow. “He’s a fast runner. We need to find Frank!”

Ah yes. Frank. Gerard tried to see through the fighting crowd but it was useless. He briefly wondered if Frank had managed to get free then it’d be no good looking on the ground level, but even a quick glance up at the sky revealed nothing but more pirates, tangled in the rigging and fighting in the crows nest.

“Come on,” Gerard said, tapping Lyn-Z’s shoulder and pointing to the helm. “We need to get to higher ground!”

She nodded and followed him as he ran up the stairs to the helm, which was completely deserted. Gerard gripped the wheel with one hand as he scanned the crowd -

“There!” Lyn-Z suddenly shrieked excitedly. “At the mast!!”

Sure enough, there he was – tied securely the mast in the centre of the deck. As an added measure (and what Gerard felt was slightly overkill), they’d chained him to a giant anchor as well. He was yelling encouragement and fighting tips to Ray, who was holding his own surprisingly well in a sword fight against the pirate who had chased him. Behind him, Gerard could see two pirates fighting against the Pirate-Hulk who had restrained him on his first visit to the ship. He could see Jimmy biting the back of a pirate’s legs as Steve jump-kicked the same pirate in the chest, and Kitty was doing some impressive kung-fu against a... ninja pirate?!

Gerard stared in confusion for a second, and then remembered himself.

“Where’s the captain in all this?” he asked. Lyn-Z shrugged. Gerard peered into the fight but he couldn’t see Bert anywhere. “He’s not normally one to miss out on a fight.”

Something cold and sharp pressed into his neck as someone suddenly grabbed him from behind, holding – trapping – his body against theirs.

“You’re right,” Bert said, a low growl in Gerard’s ear. “I’m not.”

“Gerard!” Lyn-Z cried but then Bert tightened his grip, pressing his hook painfully deeper into the soft skin of Gerard’s throat.

“Get back, brat, or else I’ll gut him like a fish!” Bert snarled.

“Fuck you!!” Gerard spat. “What, ripping my heart out metaphorically wasn’t enough for you?!”

“‘Fuck me’? I thought that was always the other way around?” Bert purred in Gerard’s ear and oh God, Gerard felt something cringe and die inside from the look Lyn-Z gave at that statement. “Come on Gee, this was never about you. This’ll kill him.”

With the hook still pressed painfully into Gerard’s neck, Bert used his other hand to point at Frank, who’d seen everything happen at the helm and was desperately trying to struggle free of his bonds, yelling his head off. Their eyes met across the battle and Gerard tried to convey to him... well, everything.

“He likes to forget when his Lost Boys die but you’ll be the one he really can’t,” Bert said. Gerard tried to tear away from the panicked look in Frank’s eyes, the very grown-up fear that was there all because of Gerard.

“You know he could be with you if he really wanted it?” Bert continued. “All he’d have to do is wish it but he won’t, and you know why?”

Gerard wasn’t sure if it was a rhetorical question or not but he kept his mouth defiantly shut.

“It’s because he’s too pathetic to grow up... and you’re not worth it anyway.”

“No!” Gerard let out a strangled cry, forgetting the sharp point at his throat and trying to break free. He felt the skin break and his blood immediately bubbled to the surface but he barely noticed. It wasn’t true, Bert was only saying it to hurt him, it wasn’t true –

“Trying to convince yourself it’s not true?” Bert asked in a mock baby voice. He suddenly spun Gerard around so they were face to face. “Aww... widdle baby Gewawd tewwing himsewf that he is worth something? You couldn’t even keep – AHH!!”

He abruptly let go of Gerard who crumpled to the floor, and stumbled back, clutching his thigh. Lyn-Z’s wooden blade had actually managed to tear a huge hole through the Captain’s clothes, cutting the pale flesh beneath.

“You stupid little -!!” Captain Hook screamed at Lyn-Z. She jumped back, a flash of fear on her young face as his right arm went flying out towards her as if he meant to backhand her. Gerard saw the hook flash in the sunlight and -

For a split second, all Gerard could think was that he didn’t get who had thrown a tomato at Lyn-Z’s throat or how it had managed to explode so impressively.

And then his brain caught up and he realised.

“NO!!”

He caught her as she dropped to her knees, collapsing down with her and cradling her tiny body in his arms. She wasn’t screaming - couldn’t scream – but the terrified look in her eyes showed she was far too aware of what had just happened.

“Lyn-Z, honey, stay with me, you’re going to be OK, it’s OK, I’ve got you,” Gerard babbled, stroking her hair off her face. He couldn’t ignore the horrific gurgling, gasping sounds coming from the mauled mess that used to be her throat, nor stop the way her entire body was shaking, jolting in his arms. Her lips were a stark red against the deathly white tone of her skin and her eyes fluttered open and closed.

“Lyn-Z, I’m here, it’s OK, you’re gonna be –”

Her dark eyes locked with his and just for a second, the corners of her mouth twitched up in what could have been the faintest imitation of a smile – and then she was dead. Gerard knew it, he could just feel it - the exact moment she was gone, that it was no longer Lyn-Z he was holding but just the empty shell of a child...

The sharp, cold tip of the hook pressed into Gerard’s cheek.

“On your feet, lad.”

Gerard set Lyn-Z’s body down carefully as if she was only sleeping and he was trying not to disturb her... but even by then, he knew no amount of make-believe could bring her back. He couldn’t look at her, he couldn’t look at how her eyes were still open, staring lifelessly at the sky or anything below her chin...

He stood up, finally facing Captain Hook under his own power. Gerard’s clothes and hands were covered in red and he couldn’t even pretend it was paint because it was too warm.

“Well?” Hook asked. “Are you going to fight me like a man now?”

“No,” Gerard said quietly.

“What?! So you let the child die for you for no good reason?!” Hook stepped back and laughed. “Lost Boys, Peter Pan, behold! Gerard Way!!”

“I’m not going to fight you,” Gerard said. He sniffed and lifted his head, finally looking at Hook – at Bert. “You ruined my life and you killed my friend... but I’m not going to fight you.”

Captain Hook stared at Gerard with narrowed eyes.

“Come on, Gee,” he said, suddenly sounding more like how Bert used to than the pirate captain. “You’re a fucking joke. Did you honestly think you’d ever be enough for me?! I kept you around because you were a good lay –”

“No,” Gerard said again, cutting him off – and strangely, Bert fell silent with no protest. “You’re only saying these things because it’s my fear. I figured it out, that’s how this place works.” He grinned, despite himself. “You’re just the man I fear the most... but you are not the worst thing in my head.”

As if on cue, the skies suddenly darkened. The wind picked up violently and the temperature dropped.

“Yeah Gee, you’ve got it!!” Frank cheered, still tied to the mast.

“What- what are you doing?” Hook asked, looking around and taking a step back from Gerard.

“I’m giving you a choice right here and now,” Gerard said calmly, taking a step towards Hook. Hook immediately took another step back, forced to back down the main staircase. “Captain Hook – Bert McCracken – you can give me back Pete now. You can let my friends go. And you can leave, leave Neverland forever.”

“Or??” It was meant to be a sneer but the panicked gleam in Bert’s eyes gave him away.

“Or –” Gerard didn’t finish. Instead, he gestured to the shadows that were rapidly overtaking the ship. The mainland of Neverland couldn’t even be seen anymore and the ship had started to rock dangerously in the wind. As the shadow, black as night, started to overlap the edges of the ship, whisps of arms with claw-like fingers snatched out, trying to grab at any nearby pirates. The pirates closest to this jumped away with cries of horror as the Lost Boys cheered in delight.

“You can’t scare me!!” Hook yelled. He brandished his sword towards Gerard – but when Gerard took another step towards him, he took one back. “You’re nothing but a coward, Gerard Way!! You came here because you were so desperately running from me and yourself!”

The shadow had completely engulfed almost the entire ship, forcing all the pirates into the centre, around the mast where Frank was still tied. And then, from the depths of the darkness, came a guttural roar.

“Wha- what’s that?!” one of the pirates asked.

“Your worst nightmares!” Frank yelled and then crowed triumphantly. A long hand with talons for nails shot out from the darkness and in one swift move, sliced the chains around Frank. He shot up straight into the sky with another triumphant crow.

And then – from the darkness, it erupted.

Every figure, every idea, every thought that had plagued Gerard’s mind, it all took physical form. Monsters with dripping claws and vampires with razor-sharp teeth. Fairies with twisted faces and filled with nothing but malice. Birds with long necks and dangerous beaks. Snakes the length of the ship. Figures with blank faces and terrifying long arms that carried heavy artillery.

All were a hundred variations of himself, filled with nothing but the utmost despair and self-loathing.

“I’m not running anymore,” Gerard said coldly to Captain Hook. “And you don’t scare me.”

“Lost Boys, form rank!!” Frank ordered and the Lost Boys immediately did so, pointing their weapons at the pirates and forcing them outwards. In one simple move, they’d turned their surrounded defeat into a triumphant move. The pirates, with no other place to go – either onto the ends of the Lost Boy’s swords or into the nightmares from Gerard’s imagination – immediately dropped their own weapons and held up their hands in surrender.

The monsters nodded, satisfied... then immediately grabbed the unarmed pirates and dragged them into the nothingness. For a second, the shadow seemed to shiver but then it rolled back slightly, retreating into the water... and the deck was as clear as the day it was made. The Lost Boys cheered.

Frank had flown around the ship and touched down lightly on the deck, next to Gerard’s side. He too had his sword out, ready to fight. Gerard gave him a small smile.

“Nice of you to join in,” Gerard said.

“Well, I couldn’t let you have all the fun, could I?” Frank said, giving Gerard that same smile that made his heart flip over and made his head think in a very resigned way ‘really?’

“Oh my Peter Pan, how grown up you’re looking!!” Hook spat at him.

Frank just gave him a very cocky smile before he looked over to Lyn-Z’s motionless form. His grin fell and his jaw set before he turned back to Hook.

“You don’t even deserve to live,” he snarled but Gerard held a hand to his chest to hold him back.

“Dark and sinister man, your time is nearing its end,” Gerard said evenly, drawing his own sword. “Make your choice.”

“Curse you, curse you down the depths!!” Hook spat. “The pair of you, you’re worthless liars!! Look at him!” Captain Hook said, gesturing at Gerard with his hook. “That’s not a child, that’s a pathetic drunk who isn’t even drunk anymore! And you!!” He waved his Hook at Frank. “You kidnapped Pete to try and get Gerard back here!!”

He was expecting shock, hurt and betrayal. He’d been holding back those secrets for the right moment and now was that moment –

Except neither Gerard or Frank looked particularly surprised.

“Yeah, I kinda figured out he’s not a kid a while ago,” Frank said. He shrugged. “That whole thing with the mermaids? Little bit of a giveaway. He’s still my best friend though.”

Desperately, Hook turned to Gerard but Gerard also looked equally nonplussed.

“Well, once you said that only kids could fly in and out of Neverland, I realised Frank was the only one who could have taken Pete in the first place,” he said. “It fits with everything in the book as well.”

Hook stared at both of them, feeling his last chances slip away.

“But – but – the deception –” he said.

“I’m used to being lied to,” Gerard said with a cold stare at Bert. “How long were you sleeping with Quinn before I caught you anyway?”

“And as for the whole ‘lying-deception’ thing, it turns out we’re both as bad as each other!” Frank said cheerfully.

Captain Hook had enough. With a wild cry, he lunged towards Gerard with his sword but Frank intercepted it with his own, throwing him off-balance and sending both their swords sliding across the deck and out of sight. Like a man in a drunken haze, Bert staggered, regaining his balance and then ran straight for Frank, his hook raised with Lyn-Z’s blood still splattering the metal.

“No!!” Gerard screamed and ran towards the Captain, colliding with him and tackling him straight over the edge of the ship, down into the shadow below.

“Gee!!” Frank screamed and without another word, dove in after them.

Dead silence fell on deck.

Tinkerbell and the remaining Lost Boys – Ray, Kitty, Jimmy and Steve – looked at each other with wide, horrified eyes.

“He – they can’t be!!” Ray cried. He dropped his sword to the deck with a clatter and ran to the railing at the edge of the deck to look with so much force that he nearly went over it himself. He stared down but the shadow that surrounded the ship was already clearing, fading... He blinked and then he was staring at the clear blue sea with the sun shining brightly in the sky and Neverland ahead of them, looking as wonderful and welcoming as always.

“They can’t be dead!!” he said, turning back to the other Lost Boys who remained motionless in the centre of the deck. Tinkerbell landed on the railing next to him and let out a silent sob as tears started to fall. Kitty looked from Ray to where she knew Lyn-Z’s body was just out of sight behind the wheel.

“What – what do we do?” Jimmy asked as Steve sniffed and wept freely. “What do we do now?”

Ray looked back down into the water. What were they going to do?!

“What are you lot bawling about?!” came an incredulous voice from above them.

They all looked up –

“A-HA!!” Ray screamed in delight as the other Lost Boys let out similar cries.

It was the most wonderful sight the Lost Boys were ever to behold. Frank was floating down from the sky, carrying Gerard carefully in his arms, both of them unmistakably alive and unharmed. Tinkerbell flew straight up to them and planted a kiss on Frank’s cheek before kicking Gerard in the face for scaring her.

“Nice to see you too, Tink,” Gerard muttered, keeping his arms tightly wrapped around Frank’s neck until they were both safely on deck. The Lost Boys immediately swarmed around them with cheers of delight.

“You did it!!” Ray screamed, throwing his arms around Gerard in a tight hug. “Frank, I can’t believe you managed to save him and escape from the dark stuff!!”

“Oh the cleverness of me!!” Frank said proudly.

Gerard gave him a look.

“Well... you helped. A little,” he corrected.

Gerard put his hand on Frank’s shoulder, a gentle reminder.

“Pete’s still in the hold,” he said. “We should probably let him out and get him home.”

Frank opened his mouth to protest but then closed it.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

Gerard sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“Frank – I don’t want to leave you,” he said. “These past few days have been fucked up as anything but you – you’re – you –”

“Yeah, I know,” Frank said with that usual self-assured cocky grin on his face.

“You’re amazing, Frankie,” Gerard said. “But I’m making you grow up.”

“No you’re not!” Frank immediately protested.

Gerard gave him a pointed look up and down and suddenly Frank realised he was suddenly only a few inches shorter than Gerard again. When he’d first turned up at Gerard’s window, he’d barely come up to his stomach.

“If I stay here, you’ll end up becoming something you don’t want to be,” Gerard said. “And trust me, I’m not worth that.”

“You are –“ Frank tried to say but Gerard leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m not,” he said, keeping his lips against Frank’s forehead and one hand on his shoulder. “I’m a fucked-up manic depressant with suicidal tendencies-slash-recovering addict with a fuck-load of issues and only just getting over my ex. It’s not something you want to get involved with and you know it, Frankie.”

“Fuck you, you can’t tell me what I can and can’t want!!” Frank suddenly shouted.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before,” Gerard pointed out. “Look, I can’t stay here anyway – I’ll end up as the next Captain Hook if I’m not careful. Some bitter adult, jealous of youth and only wanting to drag everyone else down with him.”

Frank pouted, but Gerard could tell he’d won the argument.

“Pete’s still in the hold,” Gerard said again instead. “Someone should probably let him out... when we get home anyway.”

He counted it as a minor victory when Frank smiled at this.

But then he remembered.

“What do we do about – about Lyn-Z?” Gerard asked, feeling his voice break slightly.

Frank looked out to Neverland.

“It’s about to happen,” he said quietly.

Gerard then saw what he was looking at. Fairies.

Thousands of fairies, all flying onboard the ship, sparks of light gently floating through the air. Like dandelions in the wind, they drifted towards Lyn-Z and landed on and around her, until he couldn’t see her anymore through the golden light which encased her.

And then, the fairies took off, gliding upwards into the sky in one spiral movement until Gerard couldn’t see them anymore. He blinked and looked; Lyn-Z was gone and any blood that had been spilled was too, including what had stained his clothes. Gerard shuddered; he wished it would be that easy to forget all this too.

Frank bit his lip. “I’m sorry about Lyn-Z,” he said. “I know you liked her.”

With a sniff, Gerard wiped his nose on the back on his hand. His eyes were burning.

“She was a great kid,” he said, feeling his voice shake.

“Yeah,” Frank said. “She was.”

Her wooden sword was still lying on the floor a few feet from where she’d fallen. Frank picked it up and with only the slightly hesitation, then handed it to Gerard.

“Do you want to keep this?” he asked. “One less thing to go in the cave.”

“Are they going to forget her?” Gerard asked, looking out at the Lost Boys who were playing with Tinkerbell, the horrors of the battle apparently already forgotten.

Frank nodded. “We always do,” he said bluntly. “She’s not the first and she won’t be the last to die.”

Gerard took the sword. It was just a simple, well-worn, child’s play toy now covered with a fair layer of pixie dust. There were several notches on the ‘blade’ from various fights and up the hilt was carved ‘LYN-Z’.

He carefully tucked it into the waistband of his jeans where his own sword had been. He didn’t need the real one anymore.

Frank placed a tiny hand on Gerard’s shoulder and then hugged him. His feet weren’t touching the floor. Gerard leaned in and pressed a small kiss on the side of Frank’s forehead. “Come on... let’s go home.”

Frank took a deep breath. For a brief second, Gerard thought he saw bright flashes of colour and tattoos all over Frank’s arms, but then he blinked and Frank was a child again.

“OK, come on Tinkerbell, you know how this part goes!” Frank said in his most commanding voice. Tinkerbell gave a happy nod and immediately flew onwards and up, a trail of pixie dust sparkling behind her as she covered the entire ship. Gerard looked down at the planks beneath his feet; they’d turned gold and shone in the light as the ship rose up out the water.

Gerard ran to the railings and looked down, the wind blowing his hair in his face. The ship was flying up and away, and Neverland was quickly fading behind them. He looked at Frank, who was standing at the wheel, steering the way. Frank caught Gerard’s eye and winked.

Gerard smiled to himself.

“Oh, you fucking marvellous, brilliant boy,” he said softly.




Part Six